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I am really sorry to hear this. While I do not think this is an issue that would be worth suing over since the cost would outweight the benefit but you may want to have a lawyer send a letter that they are arbitrarily enforcing their rules and this could be deemed as discrimination. They are far more likely to cooperate once an attorney intervenes.
That really just depends on the experience of the attorney. Generally they would charge $200-$250/hr and not spend more than 1-2 hours doing it. Some may do it on a flat fee.
Did you request a phone call? It might be easier to talk through the issues.