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I am an attorney with 30 years of experience; I hope to provide you information that will help you in resolving your question.
Self defense is NOT defeated as a defense simply because your daughter won the fight. The issue is whether your daughter's belief and her actions were reasonable to the circumstance that she found herself in. Your description of events certainly suggest the reasonableness of her actions.
The following article discusses the issue of self defense in detail:
Please note that self defense is a concept that applies in the legal context of court. The school district may determine not to apply it in regard to their policies. Also Self Defense is a special type of defense in the law and must be properly raised to protect your daughter.
I suggest that you do contact a local attorney so that you can put yourself in the best possible position in the event that the other family either sues or presses charges against your daughter.
You should also discuss with the attorney your rights in suing the other family and the school for not providing protection to your daughter. A good offense may assist you in protecting your daughter here.
This link can help you to find local cousnel:
Most attorneys will meet with you to make an assessment at little cost to you. Please do make a cople calls so that you can be in the best possible position.
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Please note: Information given is not legal advice. Only your local attorney can give legal advice. I can't establish or accept an attorney-client relationship with you. All posts are available for public viewing.