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In my experience, a strongly worded letter from a lawyer threatening legal action is usually sufficient to cause a disgruntled family member to back down in these types of circumstances. There's no guarantee that this will work, but once the grandparents realize that you are serious about filing a civil action (even though you're actually not), they may decide not to risk the cost of defending a defamation of character lawsuit.
Other than that, there's nothing you can do, because internet service providers are immunized under federal law from defamation actions, so, you cannot sue the websites to force them to remove the defamatory comments. See 47 U.S.C. Section 230(c).
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