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Unfortunately if this was an IRA that he set up, then the beneficiary designation would remain however he set it up and how it was when he passed. If it was a 401K, then it would be governed by federal law, ERISA, and you would be the default beneficiary regardless of what the paperwork said. But IRAs are different and aren't' controlled by ERISA.
So unfortunately if he passed with daughter named as the primary, the only way to change that now is if daugher voluntarily disclaims her rights in writing to receive the funds sent to the plan administrator. If she were to do that, she would be considered to have passed prior to husband and the funds would then pass to you as contingent beneficiary.