Thank you for your clarification.
It is generally not possible to withdraw money from the account only with the account number. So this is unlikely. Even if they did, it is their action, not yours. Generally speaking, you would not be responsible for a thief's actions even if they found their way into the account via your thrown away/lost paper with the account number, provided it did not have other information such as her name, DOB, SSN, etc, enough to have the thief impersonate her only thanks to you.
I really do not think that this is a big deal. You may wish to let her know that this has happened, but I would be careful because she can try to scare you into paying more money, etc. She seems very manipulative.
I think you are catastrophizing. See HERE. You've assumed the worst, and let your imagination take hold of you. We all do it. I am guessing in your mind you are being arrested for this for some reason, right? Absolutely malarkey.
I would not worry about it. If you must, you can send her a letter explaining what happened just so she cannot even try to blame this on you (by sending her a letter, someone in your situation can argue that they were reasonably diligent in letting her know so now the onus would be on her to act to protect her account). But honestly, even without it, I would not fret. Chances of anyone withdrawing money from the account just with the number is ***** to impossible. Plus, unless you actually WROTE DOWN WHAT BANK it is, and that this was an account number, most people will not even know what the string of digits on the paper is...!
So as you can see, this is just you having a little anxiety. If you really need to speak with someone, speak with a professional counselor/therapist. Really. Spiritual workers are generally - well - questionable.
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