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Unfortunately, even though she did not have the QDRO filed if the court did order she was to receive a share of your pension I am afraid you are going to have to settle this with her as she is entitled to that money. It would be an acceptable settlement to the court if you and she agreed upon you giving up your rights in her pension as an exchange for her releasing her claim on the pension you took from her. You need to put a written offer to settle to her attorney offering to give up your interest in her pension in exchange for her dismissing her claim to recover her share of the pension you took, BUT BEFORE YOU DO THAT, while I know money is tight now and you are looking at this very narrowly and not into the future you need to think about what you will be losing in the future by giving up your share of her pension and you may want to find a way to pay her what you should have paid her when you cashed out (even if you have to offer a payment plan) because you might be sorry later when your right to collect your share of her pension is effective because when you are older you may need that pension to supplement your income.
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