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The PO has the right to set the terms and conditions and rules of anyone on probation under their supervision. Even if there is no court ordered restraining order I am afraid that based on the conduct you described above, the PO can put a no contact order on the person on probation and that would be a legally binding rule of probation the defendant must follow. Since it seems from your statements above, almost every time you see him some type of altercation takes place, the PO will be able to argue to the court that the no contact rule imposed by the PO is reasonable and if the court concurs the PO rule was reasonable it is legal and enforceable just as any other probation term and condition or court order, as the probation order states the probationer must follow all rules set forth by the probation department and must cooperate with the PO.
The only way around this is for your husband to file a motion in court asking for a court order to allow you two to have contact.
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