Before. We were engaged for 12 years. After 2 years I almost left him; however, he said he was buying us a house. I stayed, and we married in 2013. So I lived in the house that he said he bought for us for 10 years. He bought with his own money; however, he maid me pay utilities, and groceries. He would almost never let me write a check and always insisted on me paying him in cash.
In all total, I dated this man for 18 years. Keep in mind that when I left him 10 years ago, he begged me to return to him and purchased the house for us to live in and get married. However, to move in with him, I had to give up my apartment, and had to leave my grown children who were my roommates. He did not want me to move in with my kids. Over the past 10 years he has asked for me to pay at least 1 utility a month, and I have purchased a flat screen tv, and various other merchandise. We have literally been living together in this home as man and wife for over 10 years, though I understand IL in not a common-law state.
There is no pre-nup. Am I to understand that after giving the last 18 years of my life to this man, and moving away from my kids and into his home, which he bought for us to live in, I will receive nothing of the home in the event of a divorce, and only 1/2 (split with his one son) of the home if my husband passes before me. How can the courts do this when I have contributed financially for 10 years which is why he was able to pay off his house in 10 years.
One last question. He wanted told me that when we got married he was going to put my name on the title. But I am guessing I am still pretty screwed here. Even though he lied to me so I would get married.
It would appear that my best option would be to stop putting any of my money into the house, and instead begin saving a nest egg in the event I divorce, or he dies. I know he signed a form from his work putting me on his insurance, and listing me as his beneficiary in his life insurance policy, so I'm thinking I am okay there. Do you know if I am automatically the beneficiary of his pension, or is that another form to sign? Boy, love sure makes one do stupid things. I'll never believe him again.
Thanks, Ely. You've been great. I will recommend your site, and you specifically. Have a great day, and don't get married until you've read the fine print!
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