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Dimitry K., Esq.
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 41220
Experience:  Multiple jurisdictions, specialize in business/contract disputes, estate creation and administration.
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I have a bs in psychology and am currently applying for masters

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I have a bs in psychology and am currently applying for masters and doctoral programs. My particular focus is on cluster B personality disorders , such as Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic PD, Histrionic PD and Antisocial PD (often described in the same category as psychopaths).

An old friend of mine has contacted me off and on through texts and email with messages I consider possible threatening in nature. This particular individual has a long history of borderline and psychopathic behavior so I do not take her (though cryptically worded) threats to be without merit. I consider her dangerous. I changed my phone number because of her harassments, but because of business transactions I cannot change my email, which she periodically sends messages too, all of them with hints of very intelligently coded threats.

My question is, can I stop her from doing these things? Like a restraining order of some sort of another means of stopping her from contacting me whatsoever?

Your help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time.

Thank you for your question, Mel.

I am sorry that you feel that you are being harassed and threatened. Obtaining a restraining order is very fact-based and is evaluated on factors such as whether or not somone is in imminent or legitimate danger or risk of harm. What types of emails does she write you, what is the content? Have you, via email, requested that she cease communication?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Because I believe this woman is of the borderline PD / psychopathic caliber, I believe her threats (though intelligently hidden in wording) are allusions to threats, rather than outright threats, such as "I'm coming after you" her threats are more subvert than overt.


I have not requested she cease communication because I have chosen to ignore her emails, though they do take a toll on my mental state, because I consider her a dangerous individual (which is supported by a long record of her run ins with the law, some involving physical violence and drugs). I guess I am afraid that if I were to respond to her emails, however much they allude to threats, that it will exacerbate her anger towards me and make the matters worse.


I might know a lot about psychology, but very little about law. But let me assure you, this woman is of the psychopathic persuasion. She is remorseless, takes no blame for any of her actions, and has a propensity for violence. She has me quite unnerved.


Do I have a case here for a restraining order? Shall I send you the emails she has sent me, and the few I have responded to in the past?


Sorry about the helter-skelter writing, but I am quite ignorant to the ambit of the law.


Not a problem and that is why I am here--I am here to try to help educate and show what is possible and what isn't possible. Here are the concerns that I see pertaining to this situation. Should you need further clarity once I post, please use the 'reply' button and I will further explain.

1. To obtain a restraining order a threat must be direct, imminent, and/or actionable. That means that a judge evaluating your request for an order must agree that you are in a truly dangerous situation that requires assistance. Usually that takes place after you have made requests to the person to cease communication and that person failed to do so. In this instance not letting that person know of the threats may put you in a position where the request would be denied as the other person arguably was unaware that you did not like the communication and that you wanted it to stop.

2. Letting the person know the communication is unwanted is quite important. If the person fails to stop, it creates a civil claim for harassment and also strengthens your demand for a restraining order. This is why pursuing that may be wise.

I truly suspect that creating this paper trail for yourself may be best. Obtaining an order without evidence is not easy and that is why going through these steps is likely in your best interest.

Good luck.

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