I live in Connecticut, I have been married for 11 to 12 yrs. I have three children the ages of 16 (from a previous relationship), 10 and 6 with my current husband. He has a documented history of substance abuse and DCF investigations due to his substance abuse. He was in recovery for the past 1.5 yrs after being placed in a residential program for 30 days. Once he hit his 1 year of sobriety he has been slowly starting to drink again. Now it seems to be a regular occurrence. I recently found marijuana hidden that belongs to him and he says it is not a big deal and will stop again. I am scared to have him home with our children. The last time he was left home while intoxicated he ended up sniffing ambien, smoking k2 and drinking while I was in school taking classes. I came home to the police surrounding my house and two children locked outside while my 3 yrs old trapped inside with him. That is only one of many incidents and domestics that have occurred over the past 11-12 yrs. He is emotionally abusive to my teenage daughter, he degrades her, calls her names, insults her, etc. A few months ago he got mad at me for not punishing her for being caught smoking cigarettes so he hid about 20 empty bottles of alcohol in her ceiling in an attempt to set her up. Obviously they were his. He did finally confess to this but for months he was in denial. His abusive acts toward her and myself have just got worse. I have her in counseling and I go to counseling as well.
I am afraid what is going to happen next. I found a rifle in our closet. It was not loaded it was locked but I have children I don't want guns out. He said it was because there was a siting of a bear by our neighbor so it was for protection (we have chickens) but that sounds like a ridiculous excuse to me. I want to leave him but I am scared.
Recently on his way home from a concert he began to text me. The text messages all had to do with having sex and how I BETTER BE NAKED or wearing something sexy when he got home. I told him I was sleeping it was close to midnight and too tired and he said a few nasty things but ended with TOO BAD if I don't want too...when he got home he was pissed at me but luckily passed out. The next day we got into an argument about something and I went outside to go swimming where he was. I laid down on the raft and within a few minutes he jumped on me and saying that when we fight it turns him on and I need to 'f**k' him. I told him to stop but he was putting pressure on me and eventually got a finger inside me. The only way I could get him off me was to tell him that I thought I heard our daughter coming outside. I am sorry if I am giving too much information, I just don't know where to go for legal advice.
I am afraid to leave because he is extremely manipulating and controlling and says that I am unfit because I suffer from depression. Also my name is XXXXX XXXXX anything legally, the house, the deed, the cars, his stocks, etc. Everything belongs to him legally. I was told that I if I leave the house it will be considered abandonment
and I work as Intervention Specialist for an AIC I don't make 1/2 the amount of money he does. I feel as if his behavior towards me and my oldest is getting worse lately. Then other times he is fine, I am not sure if he is doing other types of drugs or not but what do I do to protect myself and my children. Im afraid to go to police because I don't want my children taken from me, how will take care of them. The last time I threatened to leave he cancelled my credit card.
Again I apologize for unloading all of this - please point me in a safe direction.