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I am sorry t hear about your difficult situation,
In Answer to your questions,
1. You can sue the clerk individually, and the Town as her employer because an employer is responsible for the acts of its employees. As for Attorneys' fees, it would be up to the Judge's discretion, but if you showed that her acts were deliberate and intentional, you would make a good case for being awarded Attorneys' fees and costs of filing suit;
2. & 3. Filing an ethics Complaint and writing to the Town's Selectmen would be a purely personal decision. Although you have every right to do both, if you do not feel it will not affect your relationship with your father, then by all means, take those steps;
4. You cannot "void" a Marriage Certificate if it is filed with the State. You can however, obtain a Marriage License in New York and get married in New York and get a new Marriage Certificate
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