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Lucy, Esq.
Lucy, Esq., Attorney
Category: Legal
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Experience:  Lawyer
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then how can I legaly get my son to stay home and do what he

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then how can I legaly get my son to stay home and do what he is to do. I must say I don't give my son gas money
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Legal
Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 11 months ago.
Hi,

I'm not a parenting expert. So, I can tell you that you can't confiscate a car given by someone else, but I can't tell you the best way to handle a teenage boy who thinks he's too good to listen to his parents. Legally, you can take away any benefit that you've given him. Do you do his laundry? You don't have to do that. Do you cook his meals? You don't have to do that, either. I mean, you can't starve him, but you can provide groceries and let him feed himself. Of course, that may involve also providing paper plates and plastic utensils, if he doesn't clean up after himself. Do you give him snack foods like chips, soda or junk food? The law doesn't require you to provide those things. Does he park in your garage? Take away the garage door opener. Are you a joint signer on his bank account? Joint signers can close accounts. (Typically, a minor needs an adult on the account with him, but some banks have other rules depending on the child's age.) Does he park in the driveway? Park behind him (at least for long enough to have a conversation - you'd have to move if the father showed up). You can assign other consequences to his actions. What does he want that you're giving him? Are you prepared to tell him that if he won't listen to you, he has to go live with his father? Can you lock him in his bedroom, or tell him that if he does not return by a certain time, you will lock the doors and he can go to his father's?

The other option is to go back to the family court and ask the judge to order the father to confiscate the car and not allow him to drive it. Or state that he is free to drive the truck at his father's, but that the vehicle is not allowed at your home. Tell the father that you don't' want the truck there and that he is trespassing if he does not remove it from your property.

Before taking action, though, you may want to consider talking to a parenting expert or taking your son to a family counselor. Some things that may be legal could run the risk of further alienating him, which isn't what you want. You may also run the risk that he will go to his father and ask for a change in custody. There's more of a risk of that with some more drastic punishments parents devise than if you just take him to counseling with you.
Customer: replied 11 months ago.

When I ask my son to do things he get mad and leaves the house and will not come home does that mean if I call the police he can be brought home IHe already told me he wants to be mansapated, that he has a place at his friends house with this parents permission to live there for $20 a month. Will that hold up in court. I told him to go ahead and do it was that right thing to do?

Expert:  Lucy, Esq. replied 11 months ago.
Technically, yes, you could call the police, tell them he's a runaway, and have him dragged back home. That would be pretty embarrassing for him. If he thought you were likely to do that, I wonder if he would change his behavior at all. Any person over the age of 16 who allowed him to stay with them against your wishes could be charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor, which is a misdemeanor.

Emancipation means that you can support yourself - not that you found someone else to put you up for $20/month. If he wants to be emancipated, he would have to show the judge a budget, which means (a) he'd have to go to work and (b) that he needs to include a reasonable cost of living somewhere. Emancipation isn't about leaving your parents because they impose rules on you. It's about being an adult and acting like one. He should also know that his friend's parents would likely want him to clean up after himself, because that's what adults do when they can't afford to hire a cleaning service. I can't know what's right for your situation, but I do wonder what would happen if a judge explained responsibility to him. He's in for a rude awakening if he thinks a judge is likely to emancipate him because he doesn't think he should have to treat you with respect, when he has no job and no legitimate prospects for supporting himself.
Lucy, Esq., Attorney
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 19497
Experience: Lawyer
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