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No, your spouse cannot completely disinherit you. In New Jersey, Statute 3B:8-1 provides that even if a spouse is disinherited in a Will, he or she may be entitled to a one third share of the augmented estate. The augmented estate under N.J. Statute 3B:8-3 means that the estate is reduced by funeral and administration expenses and any enforceable claims before the one third share is calculated and divided.
However, the one third elective share is received after the death of the decedent only when a surviving spouse has not been living separate and apart, or has not ceased to cohabit as man and wife as in a divorce from bed and board or other action which has released the parties from the bonds of marriage.
So you will not be completely disinherited, as that is not possible in NJ.
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Is this common in 2nd marriages
It's common in the current marriage, regardless of which marriage it is.
So if it was the 10th marriage, even then it's a statutory right, so long as you're married at the time of death.
That everything should go to the child
No, it's not common, but it's not unheard of either.
...particularly if the will is very old, predating the marriage...
I honestly don't know if I can stay together, all of this just recently came to a head, so what you are saying is that if I would leave, I would not be eligible for anything
That's correct, although you would be able to get a property distribution in a divorce or legal separation, so that is a possibility.
No, he never put my name on the house either!