Thank you for your question. You will probably be surprised to learn this, but a cease and desist letter generally has no legal force or effect whatsoever. It's nothing more than a letter saying "stop it, and I really mean it for real." It uses scary legalese and, naturally, it is intimidating to get a letter of that nature, but the demands in a cease and desist letter are generally not enforceable by any court or law enforcement agency.
Normally, it makes sense to honor a cease and desist letter anyway-- after all, if someone doesn't want you to contact them, then it's usually best to respect those wishes if possible.
Also, if you have someone who is stalking you or engaged in a pattern of criminal intimidation or harassment, a cease and desist letter can help to prove that the perpetrator knew that the continued stalking or harassing was unwanted. But cease and desist letters are generally worth nothing more than the paper they're written on, so no response is needed. Why respond at all?
I understand that it might feel like this person has exerted power over you, but I emphasize again that cease and desist letters are generally nothing more than a demand with no legal force and effect. I could send you a "cease and desist" letter demanding that you immediately cease and desist brushing your teeth or wearing deodorant, but you would probably ignore my demands because they are ridiculous.
You would probably not feel like you needed to respond if I ordered you to cease and desist chewing your food. Typically, any other cease and desist letter wouldn't be any different. He has made his wishes known to you, and essentially told you that he doesn't want to discuss it any further. If he doesn't take measures of his own within reason, then that's really his problem and not yours.
Let me know if further clarification is needed, and please feel free to leave a positive rating once you are completely finished. It does not cost anything extra to do so, and it is the only way I may be compensated. Thanks.
please review this letter.
i understand it's not legally official - but it has an "if" "then" structure which makes me think i need to get a mental health attorney to balance out the zero-tolerance thing. like shouldn't my ex observe that i have ocd and block his own number and block his email??
i'm also interested in angling back at him so that HE pauses prior to escalating things. for one he's emotionally and psychologically antagonized me for months. he's bullied me and intimidated me to the point of me isolating in my apartment and not leaving for weeks. he's mistaken the entire situation believing that i'm obsessed with him -- literally untrue -- i have ocd. i basically freeze if there is uncertainty around me... the more and more uncertainty - the more i start checking everything - EVERYTHING. ocd gets to ramped up point where its involuntary. and the panic is very scary. i've been 100% transparent with david about my disorder and in fact, i told him to please block my calls and emails to remove a layer of anxiety (remember -- it cripples me, to create more checking and calling). we both felt this would be smart - we both have a very very critical need to be completely under the radar. strangely, three days into not speaking and separating he just unblocked everything. i wrote and called no response from him. --- THAT IS THE TRIGGER. so the ridiculous question "why aren't you blocking" -- can you believe it? -- it went on for 7 weeks. that's how bizarre ocd is. of course it's ridiculous, but from the ocd mindstate, the fear is that you're going to look like an idiot or mess something up -- so you urgently want to make sure everyone is clear from your impossibly horrible (perception of disaster) OCD behavior! david started acting emotionally strange too. it's a disaster . anyway below is the letter. by the way, i'm sorry to not proofread. understand it has to do with this desire not to get stuck in the rut of over analysis. have confidence i can grapple with complicated concepts -- i have an IQ that is super genius level (157) and graduated from harvard with high honors. but unfortunately, i also have insanely complicated mental disorders. i am very very kind person but completely terrified of mistakes and damage made by me -- imagined. hypothetical. etc.
Dear Ms. ____,
We have been retained by Mr. XXXXX to intercede on his behalf. Please direct all further communication to this office by way of email to XXXXX@XXXXXX.XXX. If you have a lawyer please have them contact me immediately.
You need to stop all communication with Mr. XXXXX, and all attempts to communicate with him including his family, co-workers, friends and associates need to cease immediately by you or through any third parties on your behalf,. Any further attempts by you, your assistant, any employees, or agents will be deemed to be a harassing action and we will be forced to pursue a Restraining Order without further notice to you.
You have no reason to be communicating with Mr. _________, his family, co-workers, friends and associates at this time and any further communication by way of email, telephone, text messaging, Instant Messaging, in person or through third parties will result in this firm seeking an immediate Restraining Order against you.
Should we have to seek judicial intervention and this matter becomes a public record it will affect you in the following ways:
Ms. ___e in the interest of everyone’s privacy, this matter can and should end here. There is no need for this to escalate. If you cease all further communication attempts with Mr. G____ we will consider this matter closed.
Should you need to speak with me, please call my office at 310/6XXX.
Needless to say, nothing contained herein is intended nor should be construed as in any way waiving, or prejudicing any rights or remedies our client may have in this matter.
PS - By the way -- the lawyer did quite a scary thing that suggests his complete lack of mental disorder awareness. I couldn't believe this but the lawyer said -- do you want to ruin everyone's lives, because you're going to if ever even think about contacting david again. i said -- I simply do not understand why you're speaking to me this way. I'd like to speak to David. Is there any way I may communicate with him. I don't believe this letter arose for irrational reasons as we spoke last night and agreed to PAUSE all 3rd party intervention.
This is his response:
LAUGHTER. Are you serious? Seriously? Listen. David Glickman never wants to talk to you again. And by never I mean never ever ever ever not til hell freezes over. Not even if he was in his death bed, not even if his body turned over in his grave -- not even then --- not even for a second. not even a momentary lapse of judgement -- would david ever even consider the idea of contacting you again . UNDERSTAND???
I was so confused and shaken i said thank you for the clarity and hung up the phone.
I emailed david that night -- i was worried. i got a scathing phone call from the lawyer the next day about how he was trying to figure out how to keep my employers out of it --
is this legal? intimidation of a mentally ill person suffering from a disorder of anxiety and doubt?
Yes - this was fantastic. I appreciate it.
The reason that I wanted to contact him was because David and I are bizarrely enmeshed in ways that are more complicated than the letter he sent. For example, the mental health attorney that provided me a consultation and my two therapists -- they have the entire correspondence since day one -- they believe that I should angle back and serve him a cease and desist.
And I just don't want to spend that money and keep out flinching each other. But I do need an acknowledgment that zero tolerance over the next year of recovery -- that's not ok to serve to me in a letter. It corners me.
I just don't know what to do about it, because the lawyer literally believes I'm mentally retarded. It's extremely frustrating. Mind you, David is one of the most powerful mobile communications figures and humanitarians in Los Angeles. So I believe I'm literally getting man-handled. I'm pretty smart about getting additional perspectives... David was at one point calling my phone 10 times a day from anonymous phones sometimes lieaving messages that seemed like he needed help -- leaving me no number to call him. It's complicated.... Anyway, if you have any last thoughts, pass them on. I love the depth of your response. The tact. The firm caution to pass on. I will take the advice and follow it.
I am going to ask one more question - can I counter his cease and desist with one to him as well?
For instance, I have resist 10-12 uniknown missed calls (the only one that calls like that is David G.) - It triggers me, and in fact, it hi-jacks my day. However, I am afraid of escalating things.
The reason why I want to contact David is because to be honest with you, David was part of my recovery up to 20 hours prior to the Cease and Desist. And the reason why the Cease an Desist was generated (I think) is that I was freaking out and saying I WANTED to approach him with third party (therapist) and make him formally acknowledge his awareness of how OCD behaves.
I know it's weird and enmeshed and must stop - but I just hate the idea of spending money and dancing around the legal arching and angling of this scary -- truly scary -- lawyer. I was threatening to David and he;s a powerful man, and was hopping on a plane to Europe believing (sort of sort of not) that I might have a therapist call his family's home/or email his email address. Thus, the cease and desist.
However, the way the lawyer's speaking to me -- well, that's a completely different level of ZERO TOLERANCE and the reason why I literally have been pacing around for 14 days.
Any thoughts. I will secure a local attorney - does this lawyer have to be a mental health attornney. Yes I will add a tip to this! Sorry fo r all the questions.
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