Thank you very much for your extremely helpful answer. I'm sorry, but I just have a few more questions, if that's okay, and then I will give you the top rating and an excellent review.
If my father does pass away, my mother is going to be the executor of my dad’s estate. She knows who the beneficiaries are in his will and on his life insurance policy, which the rest of the family does not know. I am afraid if the worst happens, my mother is simply going to try to take everything for herself, cutting out the rest of the family, simply out of spite. So, last questions…
1) Is there a way I can find out who the beneficiaries are in my dad’s will and life insurance policy, other than asking him, since he’s not even sure where he is right now? If not, how about after his death?
2) Can I challenge my mother’s status as executor of my dad’s estate? How do I go about doing that?
3) What happens if my mom does not honor the wishes of my dad in his will and life insurance policy?
Hello again. My father made remarkable progress and is able to think clearly, talk again, etc., again. He gladly signed a new health care proxy form for me, naming me his health care proxy and taking my mom off completely. He signed in the presence of two witnesses (nurses at the nursing home, who can attest to his mental state) and I gave a copy of it to the social worker at the nursing home. So, that turned out to be much easier than I thought it would be!
But my dad also agreed to sign durable power of attorney over to me. My mom came to the nursing home the other day and said that she wasn't going to pay his rent from his monthly SSI and state pension checks he gets, meaning he would lose his apartment and have nowhere to go after the nursing home discharges him, after 90 days -- the maximum time period Medicare will cover -- go by. And she told my dad "This [the nursing home] is your new permanent home now." My mom doesn't understand that Medicare only covers inpatient treatment at nursing homes for 90 days, or that my dad needs to have somewhere to live after they discharge him, and wants to go back to his old apartment. My dad is also very concerned about my mom taking his money.
This is where my durable power of attorney part comes in. My mom went to see my dad in the nursing home yesterday, and, when she found out I had power of attorney and would be handling my dad's finances until he recovered, she suddenly changed her mind and decided to pay his rent for the next two months after all so he can keep his apartment. I've had long talks about this with my dad, and he does NOT want my mom handling his finances anymore than he wanted her as his healthcare proxy, after everything she has put him through. As I mentioned before, my mom can be very verbally abusive and aggressive and, according to my dad, "bullied" him into agreeing to let her continue to handle his finances while he's in the nursing home.
My dad did not, however, revoke my power of attorney, so I am still the one who is officially, legally designated to access his bank accounts, SSI and state pension payments, pay his rent, etc. Is my mother allowed to do simply ignore the power of attorney form that my dad signed and continue to manage his finances? Is she breaking any laws by interfering with my duties as attorney-in-fact? What can I do to prevent her from doing it? Would I have to get a court order?
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