Thank you so much for your additional information and please accept my apologies for not getting back to you sooner, but the site has been experiencing tech problems and one of them is not being able to send us a message that a customer has replied to a request for additional information.
I must agree with you that this sounds very much like a plan on your wife's part in that she is systematically very hard on trying to make you look bad and trying to make herself look like the victim. Since you state that you have a hearing next Tuesday, that means that she only has a Temporary Order of Protection and the hearing on Tuesday will determine if she will be granted a Permanent Order of Protection which could be for 6 months or one year.
For the moment and until this Protection Order issue is worked out to your satisfaction, do not attempt to communicate with her. As you very correctly observed, she might be trying to have you appear as if you violated the Protection Order. Another thing you should be very careful of and which I have seen happen very often to unsuspecting husbands - Do not, under any circumstances accept any invitation she might extend to you to visit the house, even if she tells you to go and get some of you clothing that she had not packed. If you accept her invitation and go to the house, even though it is your house, I can guarantee you that this is all part of her plan to have you arrested. You no sooner will arrive at the house, then she will immediately call the police, she will deny telling you to go over there, and make up some other stories about you and she will tell the police to arrest you and you will be looking at Contempt of Court charges.
How to Prepare for the Hearing
Your main objective is to prove two things. First, that she is lying and you never, ever threatened to kill her; and, Second, that you are the victim and your wife is the aggressor, not the other way around. Parties in this position always bring witnesses to testify, not only to confirm your side of the story, but also to testify as to what they observed your wife's behavior, and that she is the aggressor.
At the beginning of the hearing and at the end of the hearing, you will tell the Judge that you are the victim and you will ask the Judge to issue an Order of Protection in your favor and against your wife and to give you exclusive occupancy of the marital residence,
1. In order to prove that your wife is lying, you will have to do it by showing the Judge what her true character is. You must bring with you witnesses to testify to that
(a) She drinks very frequently;
(b) Anytime that they have seen her, she was drinking to exces;
(c) Whenever they saw her, she was drunk and they could tell she was drunk because of her speech, her appearance and her glassy eyes;
(d) Whenever they saw her, she was always very, very verbally abusive;
(e) They saw her being physically abusive towards you; and
(f) That she was always angry at somebody or something, any time they saw her;
(g) That she was always ready to pick a fight and yell at someone for no reason;
(h) They should testify as to specific instances so that they will be more credible to the Judge. For example, a witness who was at a specific get together can say something like, "I recall that recently when we visited Mr. _______ 's home, his wife was drinking and she looked like she had been drinking for a while because her speech was slurred and she couldn't walk straight (Or, she was tripping over her own feet, or she kept dropping things).
Another witness can say that they saw her on a different occasion and she was drunk, and for no reason at all, she started yelling, screaming, and cursing at Mr. __________ (You).
By bringing with you 2 or 3 witnesses who have seen your wife on several, different occasions, you will be showing the Judge that your wife has a pattern of acting this way and it was not just one, isolated time that she was drunk and abusive.
You absolutely must bring in the person or persons who witnessed your wife dragging you with the car and throwing you in the driveway. This will "seal the deal" and convince the Judge that you are, in fact, the victim, she is the aggressor, and you are the one who is in need of an Order of Protection
You can use these same witnesses to testify as to you character and peace-minded personality and testify
(a) They never heard you threaten your wife in any way in the ______ years that they have known you;
(b) They never saw you even raise your voice to her in the ______ years that they have known you;
(c) They never saw you raise a hand to your wife in the _______ years that they have known you;
(d) Your reputation in the community is as a respectful individual, a peace-loving person, a very low-key person who does not lose his temper, and who has shown his wife and all others in the community friendship and understanding
And, remember to ask the Judge at the end of the hearing for an Order of Protection and exclusive occupancy of the marital residence
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