How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Andrea, Esq. Your Own Question
Andrea, Esq.
Andrea, Esq., Attorney
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 12554
Experience:  25 yrs. experience in family law, estates, real estate, business law, criminal defense, immigration, and employment law.
Type Your Legal Question Here...
Andrea, Esq. is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Been married to the same woman for almost 30 yrs. Out of nowhere,

This answer was rated:

Been married to the same woman for almost 30 yrs. Out of nowhere, last week she filed false charges , serious charges, saying I threatened to kill her and the police came and arrested me. I was on probation for a DUI, so this arrest may violate my probation from the DUI. the following day, she went to a lawyer to file for a divorce, and got a order of protection against me. I had a friend go to the house just to get some personal things, like clothes
, and she had everything I own packed in plastic bags. After crying for a day, someone suggested I go to the police station and file a claim against her, but when I got there, she was already inside, so I feared she was trying to get me arrested again and left. My hearing is next Tues. Any advice? Thank you!

ScottyMacEsq :

Thank you for using JustAnswer. I am researching your issue and will respond shortly.

ScottyMacEsq :

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I would suggest filing charges against her for "filing false charges". Basically where you contest a "he said / she said" situation by your conduct and actions leading up to a hearing, that gives a little bit more credence to your position. If you can establish a course of conduct that would run counter to her allegations, then that would also help. That is, statements by friends and family members that know you both, and that know that you would never threaten her in this way. That is, the key is to show that the alleged actions are so contrary to anything that you would have done as to give the inference that it did not actually occur. Showing "motive" on her part for these threats would also be a good idea.

ScottyMacEsq :

If she was trying to get you out of the house and able to file for divorce, then that could be such a motive, although if you could show that she was seeing someone else, etc... that would be better.

ScottyMacEsq :

It is true that if this is a "no contact" order, then communicating through friends and family members, with the intent that they relay a message to her from you would violate the order of protection.

ScottyMacEsq :

Far too often an inordinate amount of credence is given to the "weaker" spouse (almost always the woman) in a situation such as this, but if you can show that the alleged actions and threats are so outside the norm as to indicate that she's lying, as well as showing motive on her part (who files for divorce the day after an alleged threat?) for making such a false charge, then that would certainly help your case.

ScottyMacEsq :

Hope that clears things up a bit. If you have any other questions, please let me know. If not, and you have not yet, please rate my answer AND press the "submit" button, if applicable. Please note that I don't get any credit for my answer unless and until you rate it a 3, 4, 5 (good or better). Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX luck to you!


given that she has been drinking to excess and harassing as well this same night and many others and said this type of action is not over does this help my case

ScottyMacEsq :

I'm sorry that you feel this way and didn't explain your issue further so that I could better assist you. I will opt out and allow someone else to assist you.

Hello and Welcome to JustAnswer, My name is XXXXX XXXXX my goal is to provide you with Excellent Service, I see that your other expert has opted out because you apparently gave a poor rating. I can only Answer your question and help you if you tell me what was lacking in the Answer your previous expert gave you;


1. You stated that your wife was "drinking to excess"

(a) Does she often drink to excess ?

(b) Is she an alcoholic ?

(c) Was she drunk when she called the police, or at any other time that she had any contact with the police ?

2. Is the Order of Protection against you a Temporary Order, or has a hearing been held for a Permanent Protective Order ?

Thank you,


Customer: replied 3 years ago.

yes she had drink to excess that night and does most every night and has been for a long time.that evening and for quite some time she has been coming down stairs where I stay so as to avoid arguments she has without exception come down and started arguing and would come down over and over pursuing an argument pushing me into it.when she drinks to a certen point her facial exspretion changes and she starts she had also recently said when I asked if we could just not drink and try to get along she said


"this isn't over yet":there are people that know what she has been doing and I have proof that she dragged me with the car and dumped me in the drive way and never tried to stop and there is a witness to that.I feel that this all is a plan to have me look bad in the case of a divorce she had said to a friend recently that the reason she hadn,t filed for divorce was because it would cost to much in a settlement.when some one went to pick up a few pieces of clothing she had all my clothes in garbage bags as if she knew I was out for good it all seems like a plan to me.given that she has had control of our monies I fear that I may be out in the street at 69 years old with nothing,I also cannot find out if she has violated me wwith the no contact order I know that she was at the police department two days ago but cannot find out why.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you so much. You get a A+

Thank you so much for your additional information and please accept my apologies for not getting back to you sooner, but the site has been experiencing tech problems and one of them is not being able to send us a message that a customer has replied to a request for additional information.


I must agree with you that this sounds very much like a plan on your wife's part in that she is systematically very hard on trying to make you look bad and trying to make herself look like the victim. Since you state that you have a hearing next Tuesday, that means that she only has a Temporary Order of Protection and the hearing on Tuesday will determine if she will be granted a Permanent Order of Protection which could be for 6 months or one year.


For the moment and until this Protection Order issue is worked out to your satisfaction, do not attempt to communicate with her. As you very correctly observed, she might be trying to have you appear as if you violated the Protection Order. Another thing you should be very careful of and which I have seen happen very often to unsuspecting husbands - Do not, under any circumstances accept any invitation she might extend to you to visit the house, even if she tells you to go and get some of you clothing that she had not packed. If you accept her invitation and go to the house, even though it is your house, I can guarantee you that this is all part of her plan to have you arrested. You no sooner will arrive at the house, then she will immediately call the police, she will deny telling you to go over there, and make up some other stories about you and she will tell the police to arrest you and you will be looking at Contempt of Court charges.


How to Prepare for the Hearing


Your main objective is to prove two things. First, that she is lying and you never, ever threatened to kill her; and, Second, that you are the victim and your wife is the aggressor, not the other way around. Parties in this position always bring witnesses to testify, not only to confirm your side of the story, but also to testify as to what they observed your wife's behavior, and that she is the aggressor.


At the beginning of the hearing and at the end of the hearing, you will tell the Judge that you are the victim and you will ask the Judge to issue an Order of Protection in your favor and against your wife and to give you exclusive occupancy of the marital residence,


1. In order to prove that your wife is lying, you will have to do it by showing the Judge what her true character is. You must bring with you witnesses to testify to that


(a) She drinks very frequently;


(b) Anytime that they have seen her, she was drinking to exces;


(c) Whenever they saw her, she was drunk and they could tell she was drunk because of her speech, her appearance and her glassy eyes;


(d) Whenever they saw her, she was always very, very verbally abusive;


(e) They saw her being physically abusive towards you; and


(f) That she was always angry at somebody or something, any time they saw her;


(g) That she was always ready to pick a fight and yell at someone for no reason;


(h) They should testify as to specific instances so that they will be more credible to the Judge. For example, a witness who was at a specific get together can say something like, "I recall that recently when we visited Mr. _______ 's home, his wife was drinking and she looked like she had been drinking for a while because her speech was slurred and she couldn't walk straight (Or, she was tripping over her own feet, or she kept dropping things).


Another witness can say that they saw her on a different occasion and she was drunk, and for no reason at all, she started yelling, screaming, and cursing at Mr. __________ (You).


By bringing with you 2 or 3 witnesses who have seen your wife on several, different occasions, you will be showing the Judge that your wife has a pattern of acting this way and it was not just one, isolated time that she was drunk and abusive.


You absolutely must bring in the person or persons who witnessed your wife dragging you with the car and throwing you in the driveway. This will "seal the deal" and convince the Judge that you are, in fact, the victim, she is the aggressor, and you are the one who is in need of an Order of Protection



You can use these same witnesses to testify as to you character and peace-minded personality and testify


(a) They never heard you threaten your wife in any way in the ______ years that they have known you;


(b) They never saw you even raise your voice to her in the ______ years that they have known you;


(c) They never saw you raise a hand to your wife in the _______ years that they have known you;


(d) Your reputation in the community is as a respectful individual, a peace-loving person, a very low-key person who does not lose his temper, and who has shown his wife and all others in the community friendship and understanding


And, remember to ask the Judge at the end of the hearing for an Order of Protection and exclusive occupancy of the marital residence







Please be kind enough to rate "Excellent Service" so that I receive credit

for assisting you,



Bonus and Positive Feedback on survey is very much appreciated,






Andrea, Esq., Attorney
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 12554
Experience: 25 yrs. experience in family law, estates, real estate, business law, criminal defense, immigration, and employment law.
Andrea, Esq. and 7 other Legal Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Mr. Kaplun clearly had an exceptional understanding of the issue and was able to explain it concisely. I would recommend JustAnswer to anyone. Great service that lives up to its promises! Gary B. Edmond, OK
< Previous | Next >
  • Mr. Kaplun clearly had an exceptional understanding of the issue and was able to explain it concisely. I would recommend JustAnswer to anyone. Great service that lives up to its promises! Gary B. Edmond, OK
  • My Expert was fast and seemed to have the answer to my taser question at the tips of her fingers. Communication was excellent. I left feeling confident in her answer. Eric Redwood City, CA
  • I am very pleased with JustAnswer as a place to go for divorce or criminal law knowledge and insight. Michael Wichita, KS
  • PaulMJD helped me with questions I had regarding an urgent legal matter. His answers were excellent. Three H. Houston, TX
  • Anne was extremely helpful. Her information put me in the right direction for action that kept me legal, possible saving me a ton of money in the future. Thank you again, Anne!! Elaine Atlanta, GA
  • It worked great. I had the facts and I presented them to my ex-landlord and she folded and returned my deposit. The 50 bucks I spent with you solved my problem. Tony Apopka, FL
  • Not only did he answer my Michigan divorce question but was also able to help me out with it, too. I have since won my legal case on this matter and thank you so much for it. Lee Michigan

Meet The Experts:

  • Tina



    Satisfied Customers:

    JD, BBA Over 25 years legal and business experience.
< Last | Next >
  • Tina's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    JD, BBA Over 25 years legal and business experience.
  • Ely's Avatar


    Counselor at Law

    Satisfied Customers:

    Private practice with focus on family, criminal, PI, consumer protection, and business consultation.
  • JPEsq's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Experience as general attorney, in house counsel, SSDI, Family Law attorney, and law professor
  • Law Educator, Esq.'s Avatar

    Law Educator, Esq.


    Satisfied Customers:

    JA Mentor -Attorney Labor/employment, corporate, sports law, admiralty/maritime and civil rights law
  • FiveStarLaw's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    25 years of experience helping people like you.
  • Guillermo J. Senmartin, Esq.'s Avatar

    Guillermo J. Senmartin, Esq.


    Satisfied Customers:

    7+ years of experience handling various legal matters.
  • Dimitry K., Esq.'s Avatar

    Dimitry K., Esq.


    Satisfied Customers:

    Multiple jurisdictions, specialize in business/contract disputes, estate creation and administration.