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Dimitry K., Esq.
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 36753
Experience:  Multiple jurisdictions, specialize in business/contract disputes, estate creation and administration.
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I met a girl online in October. We emailed, texted and talked

Customer Question

I met a girl online in October. We emailed, texted and talked on the phone for 2-3 hrs a night at times for about a month. Then I met her finally a month later in November at her place. We just hung out and didn't go out most of the time. After the 2nd or 3rd time we hung out she quit her job the next day. She had been miserable there and thought she had another lined up .. but that one fell through. At this point she started having issues with money and was worried about rent. I offered to help her out with the understanding that she would pay me back once she got a job. I started off giving her $1500 and then more money because she was going to court to try and get her ex to pay more child support and her rent. Well I kept giving her money each month and in Dec she claimed she had to go to court again and pay her lawyers $7000 for that and then needed money for bills, etc. She said she was going to the back to get a loan for $50,000 that her friend cosigned for her but it fell through (if this was even true now that I think about it). So I helped her out again & around xmas time things were good between us & we finally had relations on new years day. Well it was during her ovulation cycle and apparently she got pregnant (once again, only going by what I was told but hard not to believe). So she went to doctor to get a medical abortion but also needed ongoing testing because of ovary issues which she had told me about when we first met. She had just started a job at Nordstom's but it didn't last because she was constantly sick and frankly wasn't what she expected. As time went on she was claiming to be depressed and worried about everything so I helped out again ($10,000 in Jan alone) and she locked down her FB page saying only a few close friends and fam were on it. Her car was having troubles as well and I even signed a lease on a new KIA for her which I've been making payments on. Within a week she had lightly backed into the unit below hers car outside & they wanted $350 for it but she kept putting it off (more on this soon). Around the 18th of January I noticed a change in her behavior: not talking to me as much, less open, colder, etc. She led me to believe that it was because I wasn't helping out enough and her doctors bills were building up because of the ultrasounds. I felt I was only responsible for the "procedure" but still tried to help and offered to split the cost of her bills. At this point she said that the total was in the 60k's and that the debt she owed me would be null. Because I stretched myself so thing I couldn't help her till end of Feb when I got my bonus. At that point I questioned her if she was dating someone else & she said "yes, but why should it matter?" I was mad but b/c I said I'd help her because I was a man of my word and gave her money again. Well March went by and towards the end of the month she came back that the unit downstairs was taking her to court for damage to the car, days pay, etc and she would need $3000 to cover court plus $1500 for some for bills. She was getting a bday check from her mom the next week that she could pay me back the $1500. Since she was acting more open, friendly and inviting me out I stupidly helped out again. Well that Sat that she supposedly was inviting me to a birthday party she never got back to me. I met a guy out that was a friend of hers on FB & apparently she just blocked me and has been seeing this guy since January at least. Another friend of mine is friends with the guy on FB and he changed his status on Feb 5th to "in a relationship" with her. I have screenshots of that and them at concerts/family events/bars/etc since Feb, all the text messages we ever sent, bank documentation of large withdrawals (which are not the norm for me), and FB messages from her and her friend who I NEVER met or talked to but would chat with only on FB. This friend would pressure me to help her out at times and claims not to have know anything about their relationship when I have screen shots of her liking the status change and pic he posted back in Feb. If it wasn't for the small window of time that things were great and actually sleeping with her I would have felt like it was all a scam and I was catfished. But I do think she got pregnant, had bills that were a lot and she borrowed money from her family for, but is lying about the total of the medical bills & kept this relationship a secret so I would continue to help her out. To date the total is $38,200 I've LOANED her & approx $1300.00 in car payments which I want to either sign the lease over or to her or take it.

What kind of lawyer do I need? Do I have a strong case? Can I sue for pain and suffering since I've been stressed, depressed and worried for 3 months about my finances, her health and the thought of losing a potential child while she is out enjoying life and having a good time with this new guy? I have a hard time believing anything she says at this point.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Legal
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 1 year ago.
Thank you for your question. Please permit me to assist you this afternoon. I am a licensed New Jersey professional.

I am genuinely sorry to hear that you are in this situation. Do you have anything in writing at all where she promised to pay you back or that these payments were loans rather than gifts? This is very important and my answer to you will hinge on your response. Thank you!
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I have text messages where transfer of money is discussed. Some of them list that she was applying for a 50K loan. I still have to got through all of them and print them out so that I can review and highlight those parts but just looked quick and found one where I stated "Okay. How much you want to owe me? 16k then?" and she responded "Whatever u want. Remember I said that yesterday".


 


However, there was never a written agreement that was signed unfortunately. I really did believe that she was sincere for a while and thought she could be a long term relationship, but now I'm just stressed, disappointed and embarrassed over the entire situation.

Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 1 year ago.

Thank you for your question. Please permit me to assist you with your concerns.

Please do not be embarrassed, this situation happens far more often than most care to admit. The fact that you have the texts is extremely important, because it then shows that the amounts provided were not gifts but that she agreed that they were debts which she 'assumed' by promising to be responsible for the obligation. This is really the key here--even without a contract those texts show intent and that may be enough to allow you to take her to court and seek a judgment. Please be aware that the amount is far beyond small claims in New Jersey, so you would likely need to retain counsel and sue her in district court for the funds owed. You do not have the strongest case in the world but those texts are likely enough to help you prevail. You can either pursue this with a collections attorney or with a general practice attorney. The latter will likely be cheaper. My apologies but there is no pain and suffering claim here--you cannot sue someone for breaking your heart and possibly going off to be in a relationship with someone else--it is not public policy. But you can sue for your debts owed and also for your attorney fees.

Good luck.

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Does having screen shots of her being in a relationship longer than she admitted to me have and bearing on the case? She was asking me for money and help under false pretenses by playing on my emotions by saying things like "Lets see what happens". 2 days before I found out about the relationship we met at a mall to give her the money. Because it was during work and he was "busy" we didn't do lunch but she said we can meet up later since she was only seeing me for 5 min. When I reached out to try and make plans she skirted the question. My gut has been telling me about the red flags for months, but I didn't listen.


 


At this point the broken heart part isn't my concern at all. I'm actually happier knowing now and glad to not be wasting my time. It's the being lied to and mostly the money that is making me sick.

Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 1 year ago.

John,

Thank you for your follow-up. Her relationships have no bearing. What matters is only whether or not there was a contractual (not a romantic) relationship between you under which she promised to pay back the money. False pretenses does not really play into it since you still gave the funds over under your own choice--I am still concerned that without a contract the transfers may be considered a gift rather than a debt, but if you can establish that she promised to pay it back, then the underlying cause under which the funds were obtained is not really related to the case.

Hope that helps.

Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 36753
Experience: Multiple jurisdictions, specialize in business/contract disputes, estate creation and administration.
Dimitry K., Esq. and 13 other Legal Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Sorry to ask again but since the last email I found the messages below that I downloaded from one of our FB conversations before she started blocking me. Would her offering to go to a lawyer help solidify the case that it was a loan?


 


December 12, 2012 at 5:08 pm


if i need your help....


Amy Em

December 12, 2012 at 5:08 pm
dot dot dot.



Amy Em

December 12, 2012 at 5:08 pm
we can go to a lawyer and sign something if u feel safer

Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 1 year ago.

John,

That may go toward intent--it definitely may show that she was aware that this was not a gift but a financial obligation. So that type of a comment may be useful.

Good luck.

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