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LADYLAWYER
LADYLAWYER, Lawyer
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 6531
Experience:  Civil; Family; HOA; Landlord/Tenant; Real Estate; Probate; Insurance; Immigration; Wills & Trusts
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I was served a TRO by a former girlfriend, "J", yesterday (04/12/2013)

Customer Question

I was served a TRO by a former girlfriend, "J", yesterday (04/12/2013) stating that I am stalking her, threatening her with bodily harm, and even death via the phone, and that I vandalized her car. Here is the chain of events.
10/2011 - She and I met at a function for Swingers. (Yes, Swingers) I became friends with her, and her former boyfriend. (I saw her socially at functions a few times a month going forward).
02/2012 - I started dating "S". I introduced her to J and boyfriend at a function. We saw them at functions after, but J's boyfriend did not want to be friends with S, so we didn't talk much when we saw them.
07/2012 - S and I saw J at a function, and she was now single, so she and I became close friends, and I have pictures, and phone bills to prove it.
08/2012 - J became a lover of ours, but as protocol warrants in the "lifestyle" (a synonym for living as a Swinger), her contact was only with me, as a girlfriend (and lover).
08/2012 - I invite her to Vegas to attend to a large lifestyle party with my boyfriend, and celebrate her 40th birthday (completely at my expense).
09/2012 - I break up with boyfriend, remained amicable, but she suddenly vanishes as a friend I had daily contact with... I ask her repeatedly if she has any contact with S, and she denies it each time.
10/3/2012 - I began to have some mental issues. I became irrational and started sending S text messages that were clearly unstable (in retrospect). The text are full of ridiculous threatening text, and insults. After one such text, I immediately get a text from her that read, "She threatened you, you should keep that". Then I receive another from her immediately saying that the text was meant for her friend "Tracy", who was going through a similar situation. I said I find that hard to believe, but dropped it, not wanting to believe what my intuition was telling me.
Later that night I had an emotional crash, and tried to phone her repeatedly for help. She never picked up, or answered my text. I then left her vm saying that I know she is lying, and with S, or she would be answering my calls, and text asking for help. She called me the next day completely denying any contact with him, as did he. That was the last time I contacted her, or him, until 03/29/2013.
10/4/2012 - I sought medical (mental) help for my irrational behaviors. I was diagnosed with Bipolar I, and prescribed medication that has (for the most part) changed my life in a very positive way. I went away for a couple weeks, and moved on from her false friendship, and both of their lies.

11/2012 - She shows up at a function, and comes to me to tell me once again that she is not with S, hasn't been, and doesn't want to be. I tell her I don't care any longer what she, or he does. I then apologize for the insults I left on her voice mail. But I have no desire to renew our friendship because she clearly was not a friend to me.

03/29/2013 - (10:00pm)I am at a function where friends tell me that S and J had been there as a couple a few weeks prior. Well, I lost it. I called him and left him a few messages saying how I can't believe he and she had told me I was crazy, and my accusations were false. (11:30pm) I leave and drive the 10 mins. home, get on ATT to look up her phone number on an old bill. I text her repeatedly wherein I call her some nasty names, and tell her to stay away from me, and all functions. At no time did I write a threat of any type of harm to her, or anybody else (I know the ramifications of threatening people). I did send more the during the next day with the same content. On 04/01/2013, I sent her one last text that said "J. my texts, and your lack of response proves to me that everything I accused you of was true. She then called my phone 5 times. I picked up on the last call, and called her some names. She once again denied my allegations, said she was at a local sports bar, and I should come over to talk to her. I refused and told her we had nothing to talk about. She then said I should not have keyed her car on 03/29/2013. I told her I did no such thing, I was at the bar with the friends who told me about her until 11:00ish, and then drove home to get her number online. My cell bill shows that I never called her, only she called me. My cell bill shows that I have not contacted her at all since that weekend.
So, on the TRO, she states that the relationship between her and I is simply "she is the ex-girlfriend of a friend of mine". That is a false statement. I have pictures and phone bills proving that she, and I were very, very close friends.
She states that the harassment/threats she suffered was on 04/01/2013, "by phone". She does not state that she was the one that called me 5 times, I never once called her. My phone bill is proof. She has no proof of threats, just her word, and she is the one that called me, not I her. Now for my question because I can in no way afford legal representation. Can I file a Motion to Dismiss?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Legal
Expert:  LADYLAWYER replied 1 year ago.

LADYLAWYER : Hello, Thanks for choosing Justanswer.com! I look forward to helping you with legal information today.
LADYLAWYER : When a person goes to court to ask for a domestic violence restraining order, they fill out paperwork and tell the judge, in their own story, everything that has happened and why they need a restraining order. If the judge believes they need protection, he or she will give them a temporary restraining order. Many TROs are sought, and given, on completely false information, unfortunately. Temporary restraining orders usually last between 20 and 25 days, until the court hearing date. To answer your question, you do not need to file a Motion to Dismiss because you already have a court heating scheduled where you can present all your evidence.
LADYLAWYER : If you didn't get a court date in the papers you were served with, you will get it shortly.
LADYLAWYER : In any case, you shouldn't need legal representation.
LADYLAWYER : I would say about 80% of people don't have it for these hearings.
LADYLAWYER : You just need to present your proof that 1) you were never in a romantic relationship (this type of restraining order is not for "friends")
LADYLAWYER : and 2) you didn't do anything to warrant the TRO to begin with
LADYLAWYER : Does this girl know anything about you being diagnosed as bipolar?
Customer:

Yes, she does know.

LADYLAWYER : Okay. She may try and bring that up, if she hasn't already.
LADYLAWYER : You may want to get an affidavit from your doctor or psychiatrist saying that yo are regulated on your meds.
LADYLAWYER : This is just for extra proof in case she is trying to say you are out of control.
Customer:

On the paperwork, her written declaration is attached. Is that the "abstract"?

LADYLAWYER : Yes.
Customer:

Is contacting her over 2 days after 7 months of zero contact considered harassment, and not just an argument?

LADYLAWYER : No, of course not.
LADYLAWYER : She must have made some statement that you were repeatedly harassing her or threatening her or that she was in fear for her person or property. Saying you keyed her car would be sufficient.
Customer:

She has no proof of me vandalizing her car, and I can produce witness statements verifying my whereabouts. Should I do that. Also, She states that the harassment was via phone, but my bill proves that she is the one that called me.

LADYLAWYER : Yes, you should get affidavits from anyone who can poke holes in her statements and validate yours.
LADYLAWYER : The phone bill will be very significant.
Customer:

Okay, and I should not bring up our romantic involvement, just the proof that we were close friends, and not strangers with my ex in common?

LADYLAWYER : Correct. Unless she brings this up, I wouldn't go into the story. Just focus on the relevant things you need to disprove such as you didn't call her or harass her nor did you key her car. These are the things the judge will want to know about.
LADYLAWYER : Present your phone bill and your witness statements and only your doctor's affidavit that you are stable and doing well IF J. brings this up to the judge.
Customer:

My phone bill clearly shows that it was two days by text, and I know for a fact that I never threatened her any type of harm. It also shows that I did not contact her at all after she called me 5 times on 4/1/13 to date.

LADYLAWYER : You are free to call someone as many times as you want until they ask you to stop. I don't even think that happened here. You cannot threaten anyone's person or property and you cannot obviously assault anyone or damage their property. It sounds like you can prove your side of things pretty easily here and as such, the TRO will be dropped.
Customer:

One last thing. I believe it will be dropped also. Is it appropriate for me to ask the judge to expunge everything from showing up on my record?

LADYLAWYER, Lawyer
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 6531
Experience: Civil; Family; HOA; Landlord/Tenant; Real Estate; Probate; Insurance; Immigration; Wills & Trusts
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