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I am sorry to hear you are having to go through this nightmare. Fortunately, in a divorce, the courts will look at her conduct leading to the divorce when determining how to divide the marital property
. Oklahoma is an equitable distribution state, which means the court can consider all factors involved in the marriage and leading to the dissolution of the marriage, including adultery. Thus, you have grounds to protect your marital assets and it is likely the court would be more favorable to you based on the adultery being committed while you are off serving your country.
As far as custody, it is quite possible if you prove her inappropriate extramarital affairs and her behavior and drinking habits that the court would not consider her custody in the best interests of the child, which is the standard the court uses in determining primary custody of a child. While she may not be a bad mother when she is not doing these things, the fact she is doing these things can make the court determine she is not fit to be a primary custodial parent. If you can prove the conduct, it is grounds for you to argue for full primary custody with her getting visitation only, even though you are in the military and face deployment, based on her conduct.
Equitable distribution of the marital assets looks at the entire time of the marriage and the contributions of each party to the marriage. Her conduct will also come into play. While the court looks to divide the assets as evenly as possible, equitable does not mean equal and for her conduct it is likely she will get less than 50% of the assets acquired during the course of the marriage. The marital property is anything acquired in your separate names or both names during the time you have been married. It does not include anything that is not in your name or her name or joint names, which means the car would likely be excluded as you suspect.
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