My wife and I moved into a house together last September, before we were married. I paid (and still pay) all the household bills. She was/is self-employed, and has a fair amount of money in savings plus a 401K. She maintained that's not enough money to move out should we split up. She also has some deep abandonment issues because of things that happened to her in the past
We had relationship issues even before we were married, and after a particularly bad fight last December 27th, I offered to show I was sincere in my belief we could make it as a couple by giving her a check for $5000 to hold in the event we couldn't make it. I even wrote "security deposit" on the check. There is no agreement in writing, other than what I wrote on the check. We agreed the money would be spent to help her move out if we split up and she promised to hold on to the money until we both decided we were secure in our relationship. We married in the spring. Things between us haven't gotten better and I've asked for a divorce. The basis for my request is that she is verbally abusive and I take the bait more quickly each time we argue. I know this probably isn't relevant, but I just can't take any more.
The issue I'm running into now is that she refuses to use the money to move out. She has also refused to return it and demanded yet another $5000 (half of what I have remaining in liquid savings) to move out immediately. What follows when I refuse is a threat to make my life hell.
I have a feeling I screwed myself, but I want to know what my options are, specifically with regard to breach of trust. Can I even sue, and if so, could I win?
It was part of the proceeds I received from the sale of my home, which occurred in 11/2012. Neither one of us was married.
I'm sorry, the last few days have been exhausting. The home was sold in 11/2011. It was owned, and sold before we were married in 4/2012. We don't have any joint accounts of any kind. I pay the household bills, her healthcare costs, and some of her bills out of my personal account. I never felt we we on solid enough ground to share an account, though we once began, then abandoned, the process of establishing one. I planned to transfer funds into for day-to-day household expenses.
Long story short, we've never co-mingled funds and have few marital assets, nothing significant. The only agreement I've entered into since we've been married is the lease on the house we live in. She is listed as a resident, but I qualified for the lease agreement on my own.
Thank you for helping clarify my options. I figured the money was gone, but the fact she wants more is just kind of overwhelming. I'd just like her to go, as there is so much tension right now.
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