Thanks for your questions.
In regard to your discovery issues. If you don't have a document because it no longer exists, you need to clearly state that in your discovery responses. The Defendant cannot order your to produce a document which no longer exists.
Second, a court cannot order a party to negotiate a settlement. That decision is in the hands of the parties. A court can encourage it, but cannot force it to happen. Generally, a court will not make statements regarding the merits of your case as it is the judge's job to stay neutral.
In regard to whether you have a good claim or not, it sounds like you have something, but it is really impossible for me to tell you how strong the claim is without looking at everything. Regardless, you have filed your lawsuit. This means that the EEOC has given you a right to sue and this also means that you should press your claim to trial. That the defense is arguing they are innocent is exactly what they are supposed to do, so don't be suprised.
You have to prove your case. If the defense does not want to settle you should press the case forward to trial. That being said, you really should consider getting an attorney to represent you. These claims are complicated and the defense will likely file motions against you that will be hard for you to respond to without legal training. It's always best to have a lawyer in these situations.
Please let me know if you would like to discuss this matter further.