Eighteen months ago, I was hired to edit and produce a new magazine for a small company. For the first four months, I developed the magazine in my home, waiting for a space to open up in the office and I could transfer there. The company president and founder, my boss, who was married at the time, took an unusual interest in me and announced to his wife that he was leaving her for me. I have never had any interest in this man and am fearful of him. When I started the job, I was just coming off disability for PTSD. My new boss told me he's a "shouter," and I told him about my disability, which is ongoing. He said, "What's PTSD? Is that like DSB -- deadly sperm backup"?
At first, he was charming and gained my trust, even saying, "Nobody thinks you fit in here, but I won't let you fail." Just before I transferred from my home to the office, my boss came to my house, unannounced, on a Saturday. I told him to go away. But he growled and said he had "something to give me." Again, I said I wasn't expecting him and asked him to leave. He shouted into the loudspeaker outside, and I was so frightened I let him in rather than risk losing my new job. A few minutes after arriving, he picked me up (I weigh 95 pounds to his 250 pounds), threw me onto my bed, and raped me. I shouted at him to stop, but he kept telling me how much I wanted "it." I didn't hear from him until two weeks later, when I started working in-office. He said he was sorry, that he couldn't call me from home and that he "forgot to tell me" he "loved me." He later told his wife (now ex-wife), who also worked for the company, that he was leaving her for me, even though we had never discussed such a thing, and I made it clear that I do not date at all, and certainly never married men.
Nearly all the women in this company of 27 employees
have treated me as the "home-wrecker" because our boss has created and spread this fantasy in the company. He told me that his ex-wife calls me "the skinny one with the big tits." He has been verbally and emotionally violent toward me, but because I did not know how to handle this insane situation, I agreed to accompany him to a concert and to a couple of dinners. The boss does shout at others, but they seem able to handle it, but it is of a less personal nature, but I cannot handle the terror of his shouting, due to my PTSD and his escalating violence. I did persuade him to attend an 8-week class for men with with anger issues. He said he knew all the material and "counseled" the other attendees, speaking directly only to the instructor.
I know now that I was too desperate for a job and could not find another one, but that because of my PTSD, I was not ready to return to work. Shortly after I started, my boss circulated a questionnaire that featured severalbare-breasted women. The questions were to determine whether the breasts were natural or "fake." He did this because I am slender and have large breasts. This was utterly humiliating to me. In fact, I did have a prophylactic mastectomy in the 1980s because I had precancerous breast cells. Since then, I have lost 20 pounds, 12 of them while working at this company.
On March 20, 2010 I had surgery to a breast. On March 24, although I had stopped seeing my boss outside of the office, even for lunch, he called and asked if he could bring me some food. I accepted. When he arrived, he had no food except for himself. He also began asking me irrelevant, provoking questions that made little sense to me, particularly because I was on painkillers and muscle relaxers. After a few minutes of his antagonism, I asked him to leave. On his way out the door, he shoved me against a wall, dislocating both shoulders, giving me whiplash and a sprained ankle, and breaking open the stitches from my recent surgery, which cannot be repaired until September. He now claims to be a "victim" and that he was "scared" because I shouted at him to leave. I did not shout. In fact, I was in no condition to speak above a whisper.
This man used to send me 10 smutty emails a day at work, but I deleted them all and told him to stop it. Eventually, he did.
How can I get out of this insanity
? My pay is $20,000 less than he promised before I started, and I am barely able to pay my bills. It is increasingly difficult to work, and my PTSD is in full swing. The company offers only unpaid leave -- no paid medical leave.
What can I do? I am single, need an income, and cannot afford an attorney.