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Dimitry K., Esq.
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 41220
Experience:  Multiple jurisdictions, specialize in business/contract disputes, estate creation and administration.
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Customer Question

My "ex" husband is in the Military and recently sent me a divorce decree that was done in Baja California, Mexico. Our wedding date is wrong, my name is XXXXX XXXXX this was done without my consent or knowledge. He then immediately was re-married. It's my understanding that such divorces are illegal but how do I prove this? I really just want a legit divorce but he refuses and claims everything is legal and to never contact him again. Am confused and could really use some advice as I have been without any kind of support for over two years now and want to move on from him and have the chance to legally marry again if I want.
I have heard and read that this type of divorce isn't legal but where is the proof? Where do I go to? I can get told every day that it's not legal but without any proof, without anything to stand on I am simply just blowing out hot air.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Legal
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your question.

The only way to prove it is to continue asserting yourself as "married". If the information provided to you is void, then the divorce is void and therefore marriage is still valid. One way to possibly obtain some kind of an ability to negotiate is to inform your ex that getting married while still married is bigamy, and is a crime. While he can claim it is legal, it simply is not and it is not up to you to prove legality, it is up to him to do so, something that he as yet did not accomplish. In other words the default position is that you are married, regardless of what he says.

Good luck.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
This really doesn't help at all. My "ex" sends me veiled threats every time I email him. My issue is that I am reading that such a divorce is illegal but there is no proof or backing of such claims. If this was really a legal way to do things then such divorces would be rampant across the military so it absolutely cannot be legal but nobody is able to help me. I feel like you didn't read my question.
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 4 years ago.

I believe you are over-analyzing this situation. Please permit me to try to again.

You are still married. End of story. There is no proof necessary for you to show that you are still married. The only way to get divorced is with a valid court order, which does not exist in this case. Your ex can threaten you all he wishes, if he does obtain a restraining order against him and then file for spousal support since he is legally required to assist you with expenses. Spousal supports are akin to alimony but for those still married, because you remain his wife. So that is why there is nothing to prove, if there is any proof it is up to the other spouse in showing that the divorce decree is actually valid, which it is not.

Good luck.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Relist: Incomplete answer.
Vague and did not seem to even read my question.
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 4 years ago.
My apologies but I am not sure how less "vague" I can be when I expressly and directly stated that based on your facts you are still married.

Take care.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Where do I go? What do I do? You're far away and I couldn't go by your office to seek representation if I even wanted to. If I asked too many questions then the first one "It's my understanding that such divorces are illegal but how do I prove this?" should have been answered or at least one of them attempted.

I appreciate your time.
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 4 years ago.

We are back to square one, you have NOTHING to prove since such ex-parte (meaning 'one party') divorces are not upheld in the US for the most part. But if you do not mind telling me your state, I can see if I can find a case that would state exactly what I attempted to tell you. There is nothing to prove because that order was no "domesticated" in a US court--it wasn't entered into the local jurisdiction and upheld as valid under state law. Therefore it is a void order.

Good luck.
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I am in California. I did not realize that when I picked that as a choice when posing the question that the system wouldn't let you know that otherwise I would have mentioned it again.

I was married in California and live in California. He divorced me by proxy in Mexico. It said that I didn't respond in time so the divorce was final. JAG accepted the divorce and he has already gotten remarried. He was supposed to finally provide support to me after 2 years but did this instead. I really don't mind so much about the divorce as I do mind being in limbo and being unable to remarry one day without some sort of legal recourse.

Even if he is a terrible person I really don't want to get him in trouble if possible. I just want him to fix this or myself have the ability to fix it because right now, no offense, I am getting the run around from everyone.
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 4 years ago.

I realize you felt that you were being given the run-around. That is not the case. Please read this case below from California which expressly and directly states that Mexican ex-parte divorces are NOT honored and are NOT valid, regardless of JAG:

This is what you can use to pursue this further, if you so choose.

Good luck.

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