Hi, oh my, I am so sorry for what you are going through. This is really more of a personal decision rather than a legal one. Once you decide WHETHER to file for divorce or just stay and deal, then you will know what legal questions to pursue. He is mentally ill, it sounds like, and you are not equipped to cure him - it is not even clear that a medical doctor can do so. You can not force him to leave his home. However, if you file for divorce, and if that home is owned by the two of you, the judge can order that one of the parties gets the home. You could argue that it is pointless to give it to Husband, because he is unable to maintain it, because he is mentally incapable of not creating or keeping the dangerous hoarding situation,and ultimately, the home may be condemned, leaving it good for NO ONE. Also, you could ask for exclusive possession
of the home, in order that the children are protected from the unhealthy mess he creates and leaves in the home - that his behavior is really an act of child abuse
, even though it may result from his illness.
SInce you have 3 houses, you can also consider taking one and giving up the others, but I would first confer with a bankruptcy lawyer, as even that likely won't result in you being able to keep more than one house. You can also consider renting out 1 or more of the properties, if you aren't already, to cover those mortages, or moving into one so you don't have to live with the hoarder, and take your children with you. Or, if the houses are not underwater - sell them to pay off your debt and start fresh. YOu can't cure him, likely, so staying with him may just be an act of enabling at this point.
It sounds like (and I could be wrong here) that you have options, you just can't make the decision to take action. Change is hard, but sometimes not changing is harder - and the children have GOT to be the biggest victims here.
I hope this helps clarify for you.
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