Thank you for using JustAnswer. I am researching your issue and will respond shortly.
What is the basis that this person filing this against your husband is claiming? That is, is your husband actually doing the alleged acts? Is this person harassing (other than the restraining order) your husband?
I was having a bit of a relationship with this man and my husband found out. He sent him an email and called him to tell him to leave his wife alone. This man informed me that he doesn't feel safe with my husband knowing about our situation because he too is married and is afraid my husband will contact his wife or him. It is a crazy situation and I cannot believe I'm a part of it. I don't want my husband to have a restraining order, we are getting divorced, but he is still the father of my children and all he did was tell the other guy to leave his wife alone.
you should also know that I haven't told my husband anything about the other guy coming up with the harassment restraining order, he just informed me yesterday. Can I file one against him?
File one against your husband or the other guy?
against the other guy
in my opinion, he's harassing me and my family by filing against my husband
can you talk on the phone or no?
Unfortunately no, we can't accept contact outside of the site, per JustAnswer's terms of service.
One moment please...
ok, I think the "boyfriend" is going to the courthouse today. I would like to go there and beat him to the punch. Can I do this?
Uggh, it sounds so white trash and I am a small Jewish mother of 3!!!!
I wanted to get the legal definition of "harassment" for you. Legally speaking, you cannot get a restraining order against someone else filing a restraining order. That is, a restraining order is never granted to keep someone from exercising his or her legal remedies. It can be used to prevent someone from doing something that otherwise would be legal, but not a legal remedy. Here's the actual definition of harassment in Kansas: "knowing and intentional course of conduct directed at a specific person that seriously alarms, annoys, torments or terrorizes the person, and that serves no legitimate purpose."
Now anyone can file for a restraining order. Basically when you file for one, you're asking a judge to "grant" one.
The judge will do so if it appears more likely than not that certain behavior is happening or is likely to happen (such as harassing behavior).
If you have evidence that he is going to harass you (again, outside of the courts and legal process) then you can likewise file for a restraining order and be able to support that filing with evidence.
But harassment is not defined, legally speaking, as resorting to the legal system and legal remedies.
If I ask the judge to grant one, wouldn't that help my situation? What if I tell boyfriend that I will file one against him, will that help anything?
You can absolutely say that you will file one if he does. Again, anyone can file one against someone else. It's up to the judge to grant it or not. So you can use the threat of filing one against him as leverage to keep him from filing one.
Do you think I have to tell my husband all of this or can I just take care of it myself?
You do not need to tell your husband anything. It's possible that he'll find out if/when he receives a copy of a granted restraining order, but if you can work it out with this other man without resort to the legal system, there's no obligation to tell your husband.
if the other guy does follow-through, how bad is a restraining order for my husband to have on record? He is a business man and father of 3
I'm worried about the sheriff coming to my house and one of my sons answering the door
It's not desirable, per se, but temporary restraining orders don't remain on any record (except those that are viewable by police and courts). That is, private employers, etc... wouldn't be abel to see that.
Now a sheriff coming to the house, that's a different matter. It's entirely possible that this is the way that they would deliver the TRO.
ok, will he have to go in front of a judge to defend himself?
To defend himself, yes. He does not need to go in front of a judge, but if he doesn't, the judge can just grant everything that the other guy asks for.
If your husband wanted to contest the TRO, he would have to go in front of a judge.
and again, nobody can find out about this?
Generally, not through the records. But the other guy can certainly tell people that there is a restraining order... to stop this you would need to ask for a "gag" order to prevent him from spreading this disparaging information.
ok, so in response to any restraining order he may file, I would need to go back to the judge and ask for the gag order? Or my husband would b/c this is against him?
Either could, because both of your reputations would be implicated by this, but your husband would have the stronger case for a gag order.
Hope that clears things up a bit. If you have any other questions, please let me know. If not, and you have not yet, please select the "accept" button. If you have already clicked "accept", or if you will in the future, please let me know so I can track these for my own reports and customer satisfaction stats. Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX good luck to you!
You were very helpful, how would I get in touch with you again if I have additional questions today?
If there is something else that I can help you with, please let me know. Please note that I do not get any credit for the time and effort I spent on this (or any question) unless and until you select "accept". Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX good luck to you!
DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.
The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).