I have a female friend who was divorced in a nasty case. All their children have reached majority and all testified against their father for abuse (primarily non-physical). He moved out of state with his girlfriend and alimony
ordered. The ex-husband of my friend is always pays alimony late, sometimes by months which places a terrible burden but doing anything out of state is almost impossible. With the weakness in the economy, her ex-husband lost his job and asked for an alimony reduction. He had married his girlfriend and managed to buy a very nice home and 2 BMWs, without helping the children's expenses at all. In the meantime, a second daughters found it necessary to move back home to live with their mother in a cramped home. While away, the daughter married and had a baby that also lives with them. Both girls are in college to improve their job skills and working part-time. The ex-husband of the daughter with the baby does not pay the support that the court ordered but he cannot be located. My friend is finding it necessary to pay rent, food, and schooling for the two daughters and some pre-school for her grandchild. With both ex-husbands out of state it is difficult to get support paid,so my friend is working two jobs, and overseeing a charitable business started before all this occurred and sitting with her grandson when she can. I was not involved with my until after most of this was over. I did not even know the situation since I had no contact (not even a phone call) with her for over 30 years. I had been married and lived in another state...we had dated in college. My wife of 30 years left me and we divorced before any of this took place. After I had been divorced for several years, I called the my friend just to see how she was doing and I heard part of this story. We started seeing each other, and after several years she asked me to move to Virginia. After some time, we discussed living together and get married if eveything worked out well for us and our chilren. I have two that are happily married. I agreed to move into a comfortable home in in Virginia where she lived. As I moved, one of her daughters moved back home. In about a year the other returned with her beautiful baby. This killed our plans for she would not live with me and her girls and grandchild. However, she is now gone thought such an difficult time, and I have had expensive medical problems, that she might be willing to give it a try. But, she is receiving the alimony and wants her ex-husband to pay it after all he has done to her and how he has done nothing to help the daughters. So, I'm sure you know my question by now. Is there a way for us to live in VA under the same roof, even if we maintain separate rooms so we can reduce both of our living expensive in order to remove some of this stress. Would it help if we got engaged, or find something to do in order to be able to share expenses without her losing the alimony. At least until we marry, which she does not want to force on her children for fear thay may feel that they should move. Their moving is certainly not necessary for I get along well with her family.
Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX apologize for long note which I trust will remain private.
Needing Advice Badly,