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18 months ago when the boys went to live with their Dad -- did you and your ex go back to court and have this custody arrangement changed to reflect the change that both boys were living with their father?
May I compliment you on that language used? That means that you are within your rights to accept custody and assist your parents in hosting your son while he stays in the school where he would like to attend, whether your ex likes it or not. For the record here, you still have custody and your son simply is staying at your parents during the week to attend school there. Your ex can certainly take the matter back into court and ask for custody to be turned back to him -- but at this point you are within your rights under the current custody agreement to do as you have been doing in this matter. Once the court considers your son's request to stay with you and your parents the court will most likely have no issues regarding how this is handled.
No problem at all because the primary custody is with you and you have given him permission to remain with your parents for the schooling purpose.
No because your child has chosen to have a period of physical placement with the respondent. There is no contempt of court or violation of the court order here. Now, your ex could take this back into court and get the order changed to remove that language and the court could order your son back to his father, at which point there is not much you can do about it. However, because your son is so late in his teen years, the court will give his wishes a lot of weight and if he gets a few months into the school year it is unlikely that the court will want to move that placement if your son is doing well.