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Dimitry K., Esq.
Dimitry K., Esq., Attorney
Category: Legal
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Experience:  Multiple jurisdictions, specialize in business/contract disputes, estate creation and administration.
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harassment personal malice; to gain sadistic pleasure from

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harassment: personal malice; to gain sadistic pleasure from making someone fearful or anxious. These are the definitions of harassment I have found. I am being harassed by a nurse at my Mom's nursing home. I am on permanent disabililty because of physical issues.
Her relentless behavior through herself and her using other staff members has greatly increased my anguish. I need an advocate.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Legal
Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 5 years ago.
Thank you for your question.

Could you explain exactly what is going on with this nurse?

(While you may have found absolutely correct definition for harassment in the vernacular, that does not mean that this is the definition of what new york legally defines as harassment)
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

She has removed furniture out of my Mom's room ; I have observed her bring resident (not my mom - but if she can be so cruel to others - I think does she do this to my mom when I'm not around?) to sobbing tears with her meanness; she has disturbed our meals countless times -my mom being a slow eater (she cannot feed herself) - this nurse will direct other staff to start removing dishes etc. 45 minutes before entertainment for residents begins - it only takes musician/singer 5-10 minutes to set up. But she knows it will disturb our meal; she has sent other staff members to tell me not to go looking for Mom's aide - (this nurse has been told countless times to leave me alone - she has been told she is not allowed to talk to me so she uses others to do her bidding) - I am my mother's advocate - a family member who is an extension of the resident - there are countless other incidents of her - she will relentlessly interrupt staff if they are talking to me - which frustrates me because I am inquiring how Mom ate her breakfast, if she had a BM etc. - and Betty (nurse) will continually disrupt conversations.


She has been told over and over to leave me alone. Betty is a massively controlling person - I am very long fused but I have had more than my share of her bullying, etc. I have suffered family losses and her bullying has only increased my physical pain from my medical issues.

Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 5 years ago.
Thank you for your patience and thank you for an explanation that I can now use to assist you further.

I would suggest that you speak with the staff supervisor and state that you will be filing a restraining order against this nurse, both on behalf of your mother and yourself. Consider stating so in writing, so as to have a written paper trail should there later be confusion as to what you meant. Claim that you have asked her to leave you alone and she has intentionally refused to honor your wishes, which, if it happens again, you WILL contact the police and make a formal report, and then you WILL pursue a restraining order.

I very much believe that after that threat, you will not see that nurse around you any longer. And, if she still does not get it, follow through with your threat.

Good luck.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I appreciate your answer - but I need to know if this will be possible in New York State

(I live in Syracuse, NY) - and I also need to know if there is a lawyer I can contact here in my area that practices in this area of expertise. One more thing: I would like to print out your advice to show my husband tomorrow morning. Thank you - you have given me some hope.

Expert:  Dimitry K., Esq. replied 5 years ago.
Thank you for your follow-up.

Ma'am, I have provided you with New York law, and yes, this would be possible in New York state.

I am not permitted to give you a personal referral to an attorney but what I can suggest is that you browse the listings at and for competent counsel in your area. There you can search by location, fees, experience, and expertise--what you are seeking is a civil attorney or, if possible, an elder law attorney who can help you.

I believe that once my answer is accepted, it should be able to be printed on your system. If you run into any trouble please let me know and I will notify the moderators.

Good luck and I am happy to have given you legitimate hope!
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