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Brandon M.
Brandon M., Counselor at Law
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 12467
Experience:  Attorney experienced in numerous areas of law.
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Received cease and desist letter-from my husbands ex mistress

Resolved Question:

Received cease and desist letter-from my husbands ex mistress for harassment
a lot of false accusations are in the letter-she started texting & calling me
and emailed me with details of their relationship. What should I do?? it said not to contact anyone and do nothing. To not contact her etc? Letter was mailed standard?? is this typical
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Legal
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 5 years ago.
Hello there:

I am slightly confused; has she been texting, calling, and emailing you after sending the letter, or was that before she sent the letter?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
She has done all of the above & I did contact her too after her contacts. This is before the letter I received just yesterday. She has also claimed that I set up a false match.com profile of her. In November I did go to police and filed report and they called her and told her to stop contacting me or I would file restraining order. She called me through blocked # XXXXX times. I have had no contact since 11/26 with her through text-same day police called her. Last week she contacted my husband saying that I was harassing her and that she was going to take action. I hope this helps
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 5 years ago.
Hello again:

A cease and desist letter has no legal authority and it isn't worth the paper that it is written upon; the only legal significance is that it memorializes that you were requested to cease and desist.

A restraining order may be granted when someone has engaged or threatens to engage in a pattern of behavior that serves no legitimate purpose other than to harass, annoy, intimidate, threaten, stalk, etc. Sending a cease and desist letter doesn't mean that the recipient's future communications serve no purpose other than to harass, annoy, etc.; it just means that the sender feels like the communications have no purpose other than to harass, annoy, etc. Is that clearly explained?

I cannot tell you what to do because it is a personal decision, but you are basically telling me that this woman is engaged in ongoing behaviors that clearly have no productive purpose and that they will not stop without a court order. For that reason, getting a restraining order against her would make sense.

Let me know if I may be of further assistance. Thanks.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
They are also claiming that they will file restraining order against me and that they will seek punitive damages.
So what if someone else contacts her and she assumed its me-should I be worried?? or retain an attorney.
How will they know I received the letter?? if they didnt even certify or anything
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 5 years ago.
1. "So what if someone else contacts her and she assumed its me-should I be worried??"

A. You can't worry about what crazy things people might do or not do. By definition, it's crazy! You can't predict it and you can't prevent it! What if someone claims that you robbed them at gun point? Don't worry about those sorts of things.

2. "How will they know I received the letter??"

A. My whole point was that the letter is meaningless. It doesn't matter if you received the letter. It doesn't matter what is in the letter. Your behavior either serves no legitimate purpose other than to harass or annoy, or it doesn't. If it does, it is illegal. If it doesn't, it is not. This is true regardless of whether you received the letter or what was in it. The letter is irrelevant.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
So if there was mutual contact-after she initiated-and I stupidly responded by asking her to stop calling me and called her a whore-never did I threaten her other to stay away.
They also claimed they would subpoena my facebook etc??
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 5 years ago.
Could you please rephrase the question? I didn't understand.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
So we both contacted one another- so i guess i can claim harassment too?? Even though most of her
Contact was through a blocked# XXXXX i cant prove it--
I did contact her through email 1x and texted her a few times and called her- this was only after she
Contacted me first-
I should have ignored her but I was
to emotional- so are actions ilegal???
Expert:  Brandon M. replied 5 years ago.
Just because someone claims harassment, that doesn't mean they are being harassed. Tell me if you are getting this? I can claim that there is a pink elephant in your living room, but that does not make it true. I don't care if she claims you are harassing her. The question is not whether she claims you are harassing her. The question is whether you are harassing her.

Yes, if you believe she is harassing you, you may request a restraining order. If the court agrees, a restraining order will be granted.
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