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Have you been to a hearing yet to make the pfa permanent?
no i just got the order the other day and now im gettin bizzare txts saying i should try to get it taken back before its to late and he changes his mind about us i dont know wat to do im confused
Who do you think is sending you the texts? If it is him or any of his friends that he has influenced, this is not allowed and he can be arrested. Was he violent towards you? Is this why you had to get the pfa in the first place?
i know whos sending the msgs to me im just so confused by wat is going on i talk to his family and there saying stuff like im sure if u drop it you can atleast talk to each other if you love each other it will work out and everything like this yea there has been violent altercations between us before but i got it took out bc he would say i was a slave driver untrusting and controlling and he wasnt letting his daughter with sum bitch and he backed me into a corner screaming in my face so there was a screaming match between us and the cops were csalled
Well, I can never advocate any person staying with someone that is violent. That is a problem that people just cannot control and major therapy is needed if there is ever to be any change. Things don't just "work out" on their own. Abusers and their family are usually in denial and they will say or do anything to get out of a bad spot. Right now, they are telling you everything you want to hear in order to get this guy out of trouble. However, I want to answer your question for you, and the answer is yes, you can get the pfa dropped by not testifying at the hearing that will be coming up to see about making the pfa permanent.
i know weve had major issues in our relationship but i do love him i thought i was finally done with him and alll the bullshit but im getting told mayne we could try to atleast talk about things and i do wanna keep our family together but i dont wanna deal with the screaming and fighting anymore is there neway i can call and get it dropped or changed now before the hearing just so we can talk and see wat he has to say
Yes, you can file a request to drop the pfa before then. You need to go talk to the clerk of court about it. They will have the forms there. Also, unless the authorities find out you guys talked, they are not going to do anything.
i know and thats what i tried to say to him im the one that has the option on weather he gets arrested or not but he wont listen to me and there just trying to get me to drop it before we talk i didnt really want to because i dont want him to claim that he wants to talk this thru just so i drop it and then i get screwed over but the sherrif has him scared and he refuses to say anything unless i drop the pfa against him thats why im confused because i dont want to do it until i know wats up but i do miss him and want to talk to him and i thin k hes feeding on that
You're probably right that he is feeding on that. Well, you are going to have to make the choice on what you want to do. I just don't think it is healthy to raise a child with a violent person in the house--even if he's not violent to her. But it's your decision ultimately.
i agree that she shouldnt be around violence but i also wouldnt like to keep him from her because that is her father and i do seriously love him thats why i was wondering if i could just change it so he cant live with us right now but we could meet in a public place and talk to each other before any decision is made
I understand. :) Well, the answer is that yes, you can file to withdraw the pfa. It will be up to the judge whether to grant it or not.
okay will this happen the same day like it was to get it and will he be notified that it has been withdrawn
It will probably take a few days, but yes, both of you will be notified when it happens.
Did you need more help?
no i think that answers most of the questions i had
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okay thank you for your help
You're very welcome! You can even come back with more questions after you accept the answer.
So if you think of some later or tomorrow, just ocme back and I will help you at no additional charge.