The behavior of the woman with whom you're dealing sounds highly suspicious to me. It is simply not the normal behavior of a normal employee.
Can you make an appointment to speak with the Executive Director?
Sometimes my customers don't understand why I do this, but I think you may also need to take all your paperwork and pay for a one-hour consultation with an attorney who specializes in insurance law. You can usually find such attorneys in larger firms.
The reason I suggest this in your situation is that it sounds as though (1) you have a big, costly mess; (2) you're working with a suspicious-sounding employee; and (3) a local attorney can look at all the paperwork, and will know more about the local entitites and agencies then I do.
An hour consultation is going to cost you probably $200 - $300 and should be tax-deductible. It's like going to the doctor, but you get a whole hour.
Don't actually HIRE an attorney without first checking references. And don't try to pick the attorney's brain on the phone. Schedule an appointment and visit the office, like you would for a doctor!
In Nevada, here are two good places to look for an insurance attorney (someone with a good grounding in contracts law would be especially helpful).
Another option for you would be to file a complaint with the Nevada state office that regulates insurance. I can't find a webiste, but you can start with the consumer protection office: http://ag.state.nv.us/org/bcp/bcp.htm
I am left with the feeling that you and your wife did all the right things to ensure that you had insurance coverage, and that your supplemental provider screwed up, and is not fixing the problem they created.
I hope that you take action, and I hope that you file a complaint with the state. (The value of filing a complaint with the state is that (1) it's free; (2) the state may help you resolve the problem; and (3) if other people have similar problems, the state may file a lawsuit, all at no charge to you.
I am available to answer follow-up questions, or clarify any part of my response that wasn't clear. Just write back if there's something else you'd like to know.
I'd appreciate it if you would "accept" if I've answered your question. We can continue to write after you do so. It just makes me feel better, because some people never pay me.