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Thank you for your question and I look forward to working on your answer. Also, it is important to know that I can only respond to your post and the information contained in it, as I do not know what you know, unless you describe it fully. Also, because you are at this site, you are asking me the question because you want the legal facts, as I see them, even if unfavorable to your situation from a legal perspective. Also, due to site tech reasons, oftentimes I am initially only able to see the first part of your post, so I apologize in advance if I ask a redundant question.
That being said, if you would like me to work on an answer for you, and in order to better assist you, could you please clarify for me, in numbered answers if I ask more than one question:
1. How old are the kids?
2. What kind of sexual contact are they engaging in?
I look forward to getting to work on this for you. Hang in there!
S. Joy, Legal Expert
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I have to tell you, I think this could be a tough one for you. Remember, to go after that boy is opening the door for equal treatment of your daughter. The first question would be, is he or she breaking the law?
Actually, yes, as the IL age of consent for sex is 17. However, she is breaking the law as much as he is. So if you want to push it, recognize that you could be giving your daughter a juvenile delinquency record. Also, I'm not finding support for the idea that you can get a restraint on him when she is actually equally responsible for the behavior. I would avoid forcing sex crimes on these kids for their very normal behavior, as it may very well backfire on you. If not him, than perhaps another fellow,and the last thing you want to promote is promiscuity- you could never get restraints put on all teenaged boys, so the dangers of sex are still out there.
It may just be that you will have to step up the supervision you provide your child. Where is she engaging in this behavior? At school? Consider putting her in a private school, or homeschooling her where you can keep a closer eye on her. Does your work interfere with that? You may have to hire a 'sitter' for her - sounds crazy, but if you can't trust her to not have male friends over when you are not at home, it may send her a message. If she has free leisure to schedle her own social life, simply ground her. Keep in mind, I'm not saying these will work, but they are options if you can't rely on her to stop having sex based on your request or order.
On the other note, you may want to have a sit down with her, explain how you don't like it, but you realize you can't control her every move. Explain how it is purely about your concern for her wellbeing - and make sure she is protected! Consider that providing protection is NOT condoning the action but recognizing that she may not be following your rules all the time,and it only takes one time go contract AIDS, etc., not to mention get pregnant, contract herpes, etc. Decide where you will draw your line - will you push to keep her safe, physically, from her own poor judgment (normal for teens, been there done that), or will you hope and pray she just obeys (and not provide her protection). Personal choice, but we can't go back in time if something goes awry, and we must live with our parenting decisions.
Also consider that she came clean with you about her activities - crucifying the boy, and going to far may convince her to not put her trust in you in the future - which can be horrible. She is nearing adulthood yet, and while none of was relish our 15 year old daughter's having sex, it may be that guidance will be your best weapon with this, rather than an iron fist over a situation you probably will not be able to get full control of, short of locking her in closet.
Good luck with your decision.
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No, not likely, we generally can't get restraints against people on public areas because we don't want them on our property. However, you can prohibit him from coming onto your property and let him know (and your daughter) that you will be pressing trespass charges if he does so. You can set up video monitoring of your own property, and if he comes onto it after being advised he was not permitted there, you can call the police and also file a civil complaint for damages (although the amount of damages set by a jury may be de minimis).
Don't get me wrong, you can press charges for underaged sex, but you may cause your daughter to be charged, which would almost be the obvious result, else the prosecutor appear to be discriminating illegally.
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