The problem that I am facing here is that I cannot make it through parole without being imprisoned, possibly life on parole or life in prison, because the restrictions are too great. I am not allowed to live with my wife, because she has a child from another marriage (13yrs. old). Anyone else I lived with would have to know that I was a sex offender (dangerous) and be tolerant of random searches (unlikely).I will quite possibly end up homeless because I have no way to afford housing. At this point I will be incarcerated irrevocably. I am a chronic alcoholic and I am denied treatment, because, as a sex offender, I am not allowed in a rehab.
My second offense was a false accusation, because, in my naivety, I told friends that I was a sex offender (possession of child pornography, my only actual crime). I was given 6 months in state, and 18 months in federal with no physical evidence. I was coerced into signing a plea bargain due to an unreasonable and arbitrary sentencing of (5-20 years) if found guilty by a juried trial. Needless to say, there is a lot of hatred and anger and fear associated with my disorder. Guilty until proven innocent and maybe not even then. I was charged with attempt to sexually assault a child under the age of 13, because I handed a baby to its parents that I had wrapped in a blanket late at night, while they were on a short walk (they were fighting), and when they unwrapped the blanket the child was naked. (This child does have a history of removing its own diaper.) This was the worst luck I could have possibly had. I hadn't planned to have contact with the child, until its cries were not answered by the grandmother, who had fallen asleep. The child was promptly examined with no signs of sexual or physical abuse.
Think about what I just said. Think about what actually has occurred and then think about my conviction. Does 2 to 20 years in jail seem like a fitting punishment? Does it seem like a well thought out reasonable range of time? Thats a discrepancy of 18 YEARS! I took an Albert plea, because I felt strongly about not pleading guilty to a crime I didn't commit, and went before my parole judge to review the evidence so that he could judge for himself whether there was enough evidence. Before any evidence was reviewed, he commented that if it were his decision, I'd be on parole for life.
My parole is now 10 years. I cannot share housing, I cannot walk outside in public, I cannot work any job that involves working with the public, I cannot get alcohol treatment. What kind of system are we living in! This is how we "rehabilitate" criminals and turn them into law abiding citizens! I go to "therapy" once a week where I am made to feel like a monster and listen to other support group members who share their stories of how they sodomized their children and relatives. I've been given a polygraph test, made to share my intimate sexual history, and made to hear the intimate sexual history of others. And this is supposed to help me?! How am I supposed to stay sober? I don't believe in God or powerlessness or AA or Santa Claus. AA makes me want booze.
I asked you how I could find an alternative way out, and you said, "just finish your parole first". Is this your best answer?
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