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Sam
Sam, Attorney at Law
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 21461
Experience:  20 years of experience practicing law.
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my wife took off 3 months ago with my teenagers. She tells

Customer Question

my wife took off 3 months ago with my teenagers. She tells them they can do what they want, they are kids and don't have to visit me. She has been alienating me from them the last couple of years. she abandoned me without notice. I came home from a military trip ands the house was empty. I am still waiting for a first court appearance, and my daughter never visits and tells me she is busy with school.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Legal
Expert:  Sam replied 4 years ago.

hi

 

i am sorry you are not seeing your children. the only way visits can be mandated is if the court orders them. if there is court-ordered visits then you need to file for a contempt of court to make your wife follow that court order. that is filed in the court that issued the order.

 

if there is no court ordered visits, then you would need to file for those - otherwise, your wife does not have to allow the kids to see you.

 

keep in mind, that when a child is old enough to articulate their desires a court can take these into consideration. so when the attorney is stating your daughter is "17" they are trying to let you know that a court may consider her wishes.

 

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
How do I get a court order as a pro se lawyer, when I have not even had a first court appearance scheduled. I want counselling for these kids. The wife is very negative/destructive to the kids view of me and good things in the world
Expert:  Sam replied 4 years ago.

hi

 

thank you for that information.

 

here is a link to the NY self help courts - the forms are on there, as well as information on the laws. i thin, that will be very helpful for you to proceed pro se - use the Petition for Custody

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Can I file these petitions before we have had a first court appearance? Can I petition for child counseling, family counseling, or psychological evaluation of my wife, prior to our first court appearnce?
Expert:  Sam replied 4 years ago.

hi

 

you can file for custody before the court appearance on the divorce. as part of that, you can request the psych exam of your wife - though i suspect it will be denied. she has attorneys and you dont. they win.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
can I keep filing these petitions to drain her funds? This was a strategy I thought may get her to answer the phone with me and frighten her that I am not paying anyone and she is? I want her to sit down with me and save the whole family money.
Expert:  Sam replied 4 years ago.

hi

 

yes, all those motions can be filed. but here's the question. do you want to see your children? do you want them to want to see you? because if that is the case then, in my opinion, that is what you should focus on. and to file petitions as a means to torment will reflect to your children that your interest is only to agitate the mom and not because you care or want to see them. kids are smart. they will see through it as well as seeing through whatever she is saying or doing. they will one day be able to make their own minds up - you see?

 

so yes, you can do all the filing you want to use up her retainer with the attorneys. i dont, not have i ever played that way - for the reasons i stated. so if you proceed that way good luck with everything

 

 

Sam, Attorney at Law
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 21461
Experience: 20 years of experience practicing law.
Sam and 13 other Legal Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Thanks. I have not been in this type situation before.
Expert:  Sam replied 4 years ago.

hi

 

you're welcome and i understand. i just think you need to really consider what your goal is. if it is your children then you need to really think about your course of action.

 

good luck

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