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Andrea, Esq.
Andrea, Esq., Attorney
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Experience:  25 yrs. experience in family law, estates, real estate, business law, criminal defense, immigration, and employment law.
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My ex-husband and his wife are constantly harassing me about

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My ex-husband and his wife are constantly harassing me about the way I choose to raise my daughter in my home with my new husband and new son. I have received numerous emails from this women telling me what a horible mother I am and bad mouthing me in front of my daughter where she feels she has to defend me. Most recently, I received an email from her completely bashing me even accusing me of having an afair which she feels led to the divorce. It went onto say that I was insecure and manipulative towards my daughter. I had recently written her an email after my daughter came home crying saying that she had talked badly about me and called her extracurricular activities stupid, telling my daughter that I don't have a life of my own. She told her dad that she wanted to come over to my house for halloween then the wife steped in and said that it was their day and that that was against the law for me to pick her up. My ex was very controlling of me in our marriage and verbally absusive in our marriage. Now she wares the pants in the family. He never responded to the first email I sent saying please do not speak negatively of me or my family in the presence of our daughter. That it wasn't condusive to her overall growth. All this came from his new wife. I don't want my daughter to be associated with a women who disrespects me and my family so much. What are my options? I'm at the end of my rope. Please help!!!!!

Good Morning,


Thank you for your question and welcome back to JustAnswer (I see you have been here before).


I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I have done enough divorces to recognize jealousy when I see it. She is not only jealous of you, she feels intimidated by you and her remarks are her way of making herself feel better about herself.


Enough of that. Let me say this, you have given her more time to get her act together, but she doesn't want to get her act together. It is beginning to take a very heavy toll on your daughter. You are not there and you do not know to what extent she and what lengths she really goes in badmouthing you to your daughter.


But just the fact that your daughter comes home in tears is enough for me to tell you it would be in your daughter's best interests if you filed a Petition to Modify Custody or Visitation (whatever name is XXXXX XXXXX her time with her father).


State in your Petition the things that you daughter has told you that are said to her, the verbal abuse directed toward you that your daughter has to hear, that she comes home in tears. Furthermore, so the Judge does not think you want to limit your daughter's time with her father, say you want them to have a strong bond and a strong relationship, but that is not possible, if your daughter has to be subjected to the moods, language and dilatory remarks of the father's wife.


You are, therefore, asking the Judge to Modify the present Order insofar as it negatively impacts your daughter and her father will have to make arrangements to visit with her and spend time with her without his wife being present. The wife has had a detrimental effect on your daughter, the extent of which is not known and it would, therefore, be "in the best interests and permanent welfare of your daughter," if the Custody Order were modified.


Be sure to state in your Petition the countless times you have attempted to speak with the father's wife in a civil manner, but she just will not communicate along those lines; you might even include as Exhibits a few of the emails she has sent you to give him a better picture of her character and personality.


I wish you the best of Luck!


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ANDREA, JD, LL.M., Taxation

Member, NY & PA Bar


DISCLAIMER: The facts stated herein are information only and are not intended, nor should be construed as legal advice or legal opinion and No Attorney-Client relationship is formed by asking questions and receiving information; laws vary from state to state and to protect your interests, you should seek local counsel


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