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Unfortunately, if you do not give the court personnel the information, they will assume the worse. You may ask that your boyfriend's address not be disclosed to your Ex on the grounds that you both fear your Ex will harrass him, but you have to give the information even if they will not keep the address confidential. It is not uncommon for Exes in divorce cases to go after the former spouse's new boyfriend/girlfriend, and one way to do that is to allege some information that would make it inappropriate for the new love interest to be around the children, such as a previous abuse or domestic violence charge. Child protective services agencies are almost always bound by law to investigate the allegations, and that appears to be what is occurring here.
Court rules are set for a reason, even if the reason isn't always a good one. Courts are not looking to profit, and due to budget cuts in most states they also are not thriving. I know that it is inconvenient to make court appearances when it requires taking time off from a job that pays hourly, but if the rules require it, you are going to have to do it. Your Ex may know this and also see this as a way to strike out at you. Perhaps if you call the local clerk of court's office, someone there can advise you on a way to minimize the time you will miss from work while this is going on.
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