DearCustomer- Based on what you have said you have "taken" enough from your wife. I would suggest that your girlfriend file for a restraining order against your wife to keep her away from your house. If you have any independent witnesses that would certainly help but generally stating the facts as you have to me would be sufficient to obtain an order of protection.
I would not continue to permit this situation to escalate any more than it has to this point. The issue with your 11 year old is a separate matter. At 11 she is not old enough to choose where she wants to live so that would be up to the court to decide what is in the best interests of the child. In any event, nothing warrants your wife acting in this manner and your girlfriend needs to get a restraining order.
Thank you for your response. Should she show up at our home again before my girlfriend has obtained a restraining order, would it be an overreaction to call the police at that time? As you said, I do not want the situation to escalate further (and calling the police on her wouldn't exactly put my ex into a pleasant mood), but I also want to look out for the safety of those around me.
I see no reason why the police shouldn't be called. I think it is best if your girlfriend makes the call since she is a third party but you can also call. This is really close to domestic violence so the police should respond. If you wait to make the call to the police and your wife decides to call then you could actually be the one charged. I've seen this happen more often than you would believe. The guilty person makes the call and the other party is the one arrested.
DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.
The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).