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WALLSTREETFIGHTER
WALLSTREETFIGHTER, Attorney
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 17210
Experience:  14 years experience in representing clients, current member of legalshield, legal club of america, NYSUT and UFT attorney
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I live in NY. My ex bf is trying to get my 3 month old for

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I live in NY. My ex bf is trying to get my 3 month old for overnights. We split because I was concerned about his drinking. He is 26 and his mom forced his involvement with the baby. When the baby was born he visited him in the hospital every day. I told him before we left the hospital that as I was breastfeeding and that he can visit my son in my home or I can bring him to his home but it could only be for short periods of time and I had to be there for feeding, I told him to visit him everyday if he wanted.The first month in May he visited 3 times for a total of 6 hours. The second month in June he visited once for 2 hours, and the third month he visited for 2 hours and has not seen the child since July 1, 2009. I am asking for supv. visitation at his mothers home for a couple hours at a time so my son doesnt have seperation anxiety from me until he is a year. Is it possible for him to get visitation for long periods of time an overnights with my baby being 3 months through courts?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Legal
Expert:  WALLSTREETFIGHTER replied 7 years ago.
the family courts in NY, will not grant overnight visits so easily, if he was drinking in the past, make sure the court understand your concerns, also if you express these concerns the court would order limited visits(supervised) first, and overnights when the child is older. Especially if you are still breastfeeding the child the courts will not grant overnight visits.


I would not even suggest visits at the mothers home, have the court do a home visit at his home first, and demand that he proves to you he will not drink in front of the child, and is not a drug user. The courts will not hurry into a decision, they will investigate the home, his background and possibly force drug tests. DO NOT OFFER ANYTHING EXCEPT ONE HOUR VISTS IN YOUR HOME OR WITH YOU PRESENT, TRY NOT TO INVOLVE THE MOTHER.

Also make sure whatever order he gets, you receive full custody, and child support.

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I was told to do sole physical and Joint custody, so thats what I filed for, I feel very misguided. I am not trying to deny him any rights we have both served eachother. Unfortunately I am out of a Job because I got laid off when I was pregnant. I have legal Aid but my attorney has yet to sit down with me and discuss the situatuation. I feel at a loss. I am recieving child support. I am just concerned for my childs safety and health. I don't really have any means to prove of his drinking except an email from his mother saying that she was concerned about his drinking too and I am better off without him. His mother has refused to see my son because I wouldnt grant her son overnights. I felt even though she wont see him, they said I denied her and her son "meaningful visits" in the petition, cause I had to be there for feedings. I know that his mother would never harm my son despite her not getting along with me, thats why I wanted visitation in his moms home. He has never cared for an infant and my son doesnt know him, so I just want to make sure his needs are met and that he is not suffering because he is missing me because I am the only person he knows. He said is his petition that he wants overnights every other weekend, I feel at this time anything longer than a couple hours is too long for an infant. Im hoping that the law will side with me as I am generally concerned for my child and my child alone. This man was not involved during my entire pregnancy and tried to force an abortion on me until I was about 8 months pregnant. He said he hasn't seen my son in the past 2 months because it was too emotionally painful in the court papers trying to make me look like I am a bad person.
Expert:  WALLSTREETFIGHTER replied 7 years ago.
IN NY "JOINT CUSTODY" IS A LEGAL FICTION MEANING THE SOLE CUSTODIAL PARENT, IS THE ONE WHO WILL MAKE THE ULTIMATE DECISIONS REGARDING THE CHILDS WELFARE.

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PROVE HIS DRINKING, THE JUDGE WOULD ASK YOU WHAT OUR CONCERNS ARE, YOU SHOULD MENTION HE HASN'T SEEN THE CHILD IN A MONTH AND THAT HE HAS A DRINKING PROBLEM, AND NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO VISIT THE CHILD OVERNIGHT.

IN MY 10 YEARS OF PRACTICING IN NY FAMILY COURTS I AM SURE THE COURTS WILL NOT AWARD OVERNIGHT FOR A FATHER WITH A DRINKING PROBLEM ESPECIALLY AT 3 MONTHS OLD. YOU HAVE AN ABSOLUTE RIGHT TO BE THEIR FOR THE FEEDINGS, FOR AN INFANT, I WOULD NOT COMPROMISE THIS CASE, YOU MAY WANT TO SETTLE, I DO NOT THINK YOU SHOULD SETTLE FOR ANY VISITS UNLESS PARENTING SKILLS ARE TAKEN BY THE FATHER AND ONLY SUPERVISED VISTS WITH YOU FOR 6 MONTHS UNTIL THE CHILD KNOWS THE FATHER.

THE GRANDMOTHER DOES NOT LEGAL RIGHTS IN THIS MATTER, HER CONCERNS ARE NOT IMPORTANT IT IS BETWEEN YOU AND THE FATHER, THE GRANDMOTHER IS TRYIN TO GET VISITATION FOR HERSELF, NOT FOR THE SON.

YOU SHOULD ALSO STATE THAT THE CHILD WOULD BE STAYING OVERNIGHT WITH THE GRANDMOTHER IF GRANTED, NOT FATHER, SO THE COURT WOULD ACTUALLY BE GRANTING A GRANDPARENTS RIGHTS OVER THE MOTHER, THEY CAN'T DO THAT.

IN THE END SETTLE FOR WEEKEND VISITS AT THEIR HOUSE MAYBE 2-3 HOURS. BUT DO NOT START OFF WITH THAT.
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