so sorry for the delay - i've been laid up for more than the past week, as i'm out of one of my  meds - THE pretty much most important one, of course - only cuz i've lost my psychiatrist and have been unable to even FIND another one! even aetna doesn't seem to be able to find one for me. were i one to be able to be disillusioned, i most certainly would be as not a ONE of these 'do no harm' guys gives a s--t [pardon my you-know-what] that when they spoke to me i had less than one day's worth of meds - and this is one you're supposed to titrate down from. i even got a refusal from one doc's office BECAUSE i was disabled - silly me, i actually thought that sort of thing was illegal...
sorry - am feeling very ragged, probly quite sorry for myself, and sick of being treated as tho i'm as worthless as i usually feel anymore.... at any rate, i didn't even read your offer of the discounted rate til just now, a minute after i read your answer.
i've never used this service b4, so this reply may be totally 'not done' or whatever. i guess i was just wondering if you had ANY idea how on earth one EVER is able to get assistance such as i'm seeking, ya know? it probably sounds like dramatization, but i quite literally run out of funds now each month NO later than the 15th - it used to be the 20th or 25th, which at least wasn't AS god-awful, ya know? and i'm not buying steaks to eat, or hitting 'the sales' on even an IRregular basis. hell, i can't remember the last time i was actually able to do that! my mortgage - which, due to my now bad credit, i'm unable to refi to try to bring it down - takes more than third of my "too high" (?) income, and i'm sure you're as familiar as everyone else (even if you CAN afford it...) the huge costs of heating oil, power, and even groceries. i literally hardly eat - but it still costs a ridiculous amount for a bag of groceries, which is usually just milk, bagels, cream cheese and if i'm as down as i normally am, particularly in winter, maybe a bag of reisens or a box of little bites brownies... i'm 'lucky' enough to have retained my medical/rx coverage from the job i had to retire from in '95 - but with 18 meds, it still costs a lot! two weeks ago, i spent a week with 3 layers of clothes on, under 4 blankets w/gloves on INSIDE MY HOME(!) - with no heat, cuz the oil company refused to wait the 3 days til i got my monthly disability money for payment of their last bill! and they are fully aware of just how deadly cold can be to me, due to endocrine problems and my body's inability to regulate my temperature. they quite literally didn't care if i croaked due to them refusing my 100-gallon request for oill [i've not *filled* my 275-g tank in more than 10 years....- these days, i reckon that'd be over $1k, i think!]
do you know of ANY state/federall/whatever organization that can/will help me? or even of any organization that would be willing to 'walk me thru' TRYING to get aid? i hate so much that i'm so stupid anymore - i consider it one of god's truly cruel ironies that with all i've been made to forget, he couldn't let me forget how intelligent i USED to be.
this thing probly doesn't even make any sense. if so, my apologies. depression is truly a horrible thing...even more so when it's just you, by yourself...
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