if you have been threatened that the affair will be revealed if no payment, then you are being extorted
as scary and painful as it might be, you should consider reporting her threats to the police because if you pay her she will want more. and if you dont pay, you run the risk of your spouse being told
so if you tell the police and report the extortion then at least it will all come to an end - and she will be charged
you can also tell her that you are not paying her and if she contacts you again you will go to the police - i suggest you do not put this in an email, but rather face to face or on the phone
DISCLAIMER: Answers from Experts on JustAnswer are not substitutes for the advice of an attorney. JustAnswer is a public forum and questions and responses are not private or confidential or protected by the attorney-client privilege. The Expert above is not your attorney, and the response above is not legal advice. You should not read this response to propose specific action or address specific circumstances, but only to give you a sense of general principles of law that might affect the situation you describe. Application of these general principles to particular circumstances must be done by a lawyer who has spoken with you in confidence, learned all relevant information, and explored various options. Before acting on these general principles, you should hire a lawyer licensed to practice law in the jurisdiction to which your question pertains.
The responses above are from individual Experts, not JustAnswer. The site and services are provided “as is”. To view the verified credential of an Expert, click on the “Verified” symbol in the Expert’s profile. This site is not for emergency questions which should be directed immediately by telephone or in-person to qualified professionals. Please carefully read the Terms of Service (last updated February 8, 2012).