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if you have been threatened that the affair will be revealed if no payment, then you are being extorted
as scary and painful as it might be, you should consider reporting her threats to the police because if you pay her she will want more. and if you dont pay, you run the risk of your spouse being told
so if you tell the police and report the extortion then at least it will all come to an end - and she will be charged
you can also tell her that you are not paying her and if she contacts you again you will go to the police - i suggest you do not put this in an email, but rather face to face or on the phone