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Ms Chase
Ms Chase, Consultant
Category: Legal
Satisfied Customers: 2897
Experience:  Business, Custody, Marriage/Divorce, Criminal Law, Contract Negotiation, Entertainment Law
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Legal

at what age can my child leave home in colorado?

My Son and daughter are... Show More
My Son and daughter are with their Mother and adopted dad in colorado. When can they come home to live with me leagally? They both want away from their adopted dad asap and want to be with me.
Submitted: 10 years ago.
Category: Legal
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replied 10 years ago.

Hi Kato,


Many states will seriously consider a child's decision when they are 13 or older. You would have to set up a court date in Colorado, and you could request a mediator first to see fit could be worked out without having to go in front of a judge.


The issues would be how their mother feels about it and what she would use to make the mediator or the judge look unfavorably upon you. Many judges will agree to a son going to live with his father, quicker than they will a daughter. But each case is individual.


Things like past issues, how many hours you work, who you live with, even the area you live in, the schools they would go to, etc. So I would try to have all your ducks in a row, per say...if you work, you have after school care, a good school program, enough space in the home, etc.



Warmly,


Chase


Customer reply replied 10 years ago.
Reply to Chase's Post: I have no legal recourse to the kids. how do i get it in to court? They were adopted out from under me in 97. They are now female 14 and male 16. they noth want to be with me and the adopted dad is trying to keep them from me all together.
Ms Chase, Consultant replied 10 years ago.

Can you explain to me how they were adopted from under you?

Customer reply replied 10 years ago.
Reply to Chase's Post: My first wife and I who i have the kids with got a divorce and she promised me joint custody so i didn't go to court but she reniged. i got limited visitation. had to be supervised. Irefused to pay the child support cause i was not allowed to have anything to do with them. then she got married and he wanted to adopt them. I got information from an attorney that if i just voiced my opinion they would not be adopted. I yelled and screamed at their attorney that not over my dead body did i want them to be adopted. well needless to say they were. I didn't make it to court cause i couldn't afford it back then. I thought telling their attorney was good enough. I found out the hard way it wasn't.
Ms Chase, Consultant replied 10 years ago.

Yes, you would have had to show up in court to voice your objection...but....


Without your consent, there had to have been legal and valid reasons for the judge to consent to the adoption. You say you have lawyers, have them get copies of the transcripts from the adoption and see what reasons were given to terminate your rights.


Were you served papers when he filed for adoption?


Does he have full legal custody of them?


Are you still paying child support?


Chase

Customer reply replied 10 years ago.
Reply to Chase's Post: Yes I was served. Yes he has full legal custody. No i am not paying child support. I also don't a lawyer.
The judge consented to the adoption because i didn't show up in court. Also because I didn't pay child support because I wasn't allowed to have anything to do with them but he didn't know that and their lawyer didn't tell them how I really felt in all this. Also I hadn't seen them in many years because I wasn't allowed too but the judge didn't know that either. So it was considered abandondment.
Ms Chase, Consultant replied 10 years ago.

Kato,


Due to the information you've provided, I do not think you have any recourse. The termination of parental rights, makes the parent/child relationship obsolete, in the eyes of the law, and for all legal intents and purposes. Your children making a decision to live with you, would be like them deciding to live with a stranger. The legal parents would be able to fight it successfully.


To answer your original question, they would have to be 18 to be able to leave home on their own and come live with you.


I know this is not the answer you were hoping to hear, if you have any further questions, feel free to ask, it costs nothing to click reply. If this has helped, please remember to click the green accept button.


Warmly,


Chase

Customer reply replied 10 years ago.
Reply to Chase's Post: So you are saying then that they can not leave their home until they are 18 years old. What about the legal age of consent? Not the sexual part but the part where they have the right to leave home if they are not being treated right. Their adopted father treats them like shit and after they finally had something to do with me he is now trying to keep them from me again. I am afraid my 14 yr old daughter will run away from them and something will happen to her when she realizes or they tell her she can't talk to me or have anything to do with me until she turns of age. She has already ran away before and the time we have had recently with one another she has become a daddy's girl. I'm affraid this will be the thing that throws her over the edge and she really takes off and something happens to her.
Ms Chase, Consultant replied 10 years ago.

When you use the term, "age of consent" you are speaking of sex/marriage. The child's right to leave home, as an adult is 19 in CO, but some courts will not force a 17/18 year old to return home.


I understand that this situation is difficult, but if she is having problems with her stepfather being abusive, she may need to report him. If the problems are not of that magnitude, it may be in your best interest to encourage her to stay put. You are right, at that age, she could get seriously hurt or worse if she gets into the habit of leaving home.


If she comes to you, and you take her in, it's possible that charges can be brought against you.


How were you able to spend time with her recently?


Chase

Customer reply replied 10 years ago.
Reply to Chase's Post: we have been allowed to have contact and we went to see then last year and they spent 9 days with us. They then came out for a week in Christmas. Then they were allowed to come out for a month this summer. I had a person living with us for almost a year. He was my helper at work. I took him in and supported him for this whole time. i trusted him completely. my daughter ended up having a crush with him and they had sex with one another just before i had to take my two kids back home. She told me about it just hours before i took them home. The adopetd father almost didn't let them come out this last time because he wanted me to tell him i didn't want them or care or love them when he adopted them when i ended up on drugs because i lost the two most important things in my life at that time. So he didn't get what he wanted. So I was afraid that if i didn't get them home on the exact time he said they had to be home i would lose all contact with them. She was already trying to take off out here before I took her home because of all that had happened with this person i had living with us. She is in love with him. I am prosecuting him now and The adopted dad said i should have taken her right to the police. But he understood under the circumstances. All four of us sat her down out in colorado that we are all there for her and will be and that they would be able to come back out here for Christmas and all but now he is changing his tune making everything worse.
Ms Chase, Consultant replied 10 years ago.

Wow, that's a lot to deal with. Unfortuanatly, he has the legal right to allow them to visit or not. What happened in your home, although it wasn't particularly your fault, looks bad.


It's a shame that he's playing games with you when it comes to these children. He may have only said he understood to get the kids back with him, and may still be really angry over the situation. Unfortunalty it seems you are at his mercy and will have to try and continue to talk with him, and let him know that you are trustworthy and will not allow anything else like this to happen again.


You may need to talk to her as well, her acting out and trying to leave again will only make the situation worse, and if you are seen as encouraging her, then he may cut you off from them completely.


What is the mother's thoughts and actions through all of this?


Chase

Customer reply replied 10 years ago.
Reply to Chase's Post: She has had alot of problems with him and the house is in caos. She wants the kids to have somthing to do with me. He is playing games saying that I am turning them against him and he is the one who has been there all these years. I have put that to the kids too but he feels like I am trying to take them away from him all together. now i want to with all the games he is playing with my kids. They don't deserve all this. They feel like they have been betrayed because I was kept from them for all these years.
Ms Chase, Consultant replied 10 years ago.

Kato,


I agree that the kids don't deserve to be treated badly. If he is doing any harm to them, their best recourse woul be to contact child services....but this doesn't mean that they will be able to come to you since your parental rights are terminated.


Of course they feel betrayed, but you have to let them know that you are in their life now, and you don't plan on going anywhere. If you show them that you plan on standing by them no matter what, this may help in calming them some. Let your ex know that you're not the same person and you want to be a part of their life, she is the one who can get the stepdad to keep the peace.


Your situation is a difficult one, but no matter what, stand by your children and let them know that you will be there for them no matter what happens.



Warmly,


Chase