You don't have to accept my answer if your not satisfied, and you can continue asking questions until either myself or someone else helps you to your satisfaction ok?
After some research I read that there are some instances where a judge may decide (why they would be allowed this personal opinion is beyond me) that granting a divorce is not the best recourse at that time and that the couple need time to seek counseling or be sure they want a divorce. But i think your judge would have stated this at the time and in fact should have given you another court date to get an update on how things are progressing? Did the judge give any reasons why? According to what I read, if there aren't any changes, the judge can then grant the divorce. Again, this is very uncommon, I believe this judge has no authority to make this decision.
The rules vary slightly from state to state, but from research it seems that as long as they both agree the annullment should go through, and like you said when they both agreed to the divorce that should have gone through. She could cite abandonment
alone for reason for divorce.
You also have the option of filing an appeal on the ruling of the first judge, which I would strongly suggest if you don't go the annullment route.
Let me know if you have more questions, it's no problem. You can also update me on your problem at a later date by PMing me, I'd like to know how this works out.