Awh... that is too sweet... I might not be as young as you think I am
Anyway, it sounds to me like you either have bad EGI main relay or a bad crankshaft position sensor.
With the key on, check for battery voltage at any one of the fuel injectors, the Camshaft Position sensor, the Mass Air Flow Sensor or the Idle Air Control valve etc just to see if the EGI main relay is coming on. If no voltage at those components from the EGI main relay, feel for the EGI main relay to click when the key is turned ON. Unplug the EGI main relay and verify two terminals in the EGI main relay connector have battery voltage.
You could even swap the EGI main relay with the fuel pump relay to see if that helps. If the EGI main relay is working and those components have battery voltage key on and the Check Engine Light comes on key on, the check for engine RPM on the scan tool while cranking (if you have one) to try and determine of the Crankshaft Position (CKP) sensor is working. If not, you can check the crankshaft position sensor manually with your meter while the engine is cranking over.
I hope this helps. You can always accept my answer now, and repost back again later on if you have any more questions. If you want to discuss it some more just hit "reply", it's free to do so otherwise don't forget to hit "accept" and leave positive feedback if you found my answer helpful.