I'm not sure what you already have been told by the other attorney. But what is important is the intent of the traveler at the time they are coming to the US. If your purpose of coming to the US is to get married and adjust your status to permanent resident so that you can live and work in the US, then you are breaking the law by coming as a visitor/ESTA to accomplish this.
Yes, if a person comes to the US to visit, and their actual purpose is to visit, but then they end up marrying a US citizen and changing his status, that is not illegal.
But in your case, your intent in coming to the US as a visitor/ESTA traveler is to get married and then adjust your status. That intent is not allowed on the visitor/ESTA status.
The right, legal way to do this is to get the fiance visa.
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