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Needing a new transmission and having your oil changed have nothing to do with each other. I wouldn't take advice from whoever told you that anymore- no offense to that person. I certainly hope a honda dealer did not tell you this.
The life of the transmission depends greatly on how well you take care of it and the type of driver you are. If you follow your vehicles maintenance schedule, which you should be coming up on your 90,000 mile. you can have the transmission last as long as your car itself does. Having the transmission fluid changed as per your maint. schedule helps greatly.
As far as driving it, if you drive like an average person then you are causing no harm to it that it was designed/built to handle, but if you treat it like a race car it will greatly reduce the life of the transmission. It will cause it to shift harder and deteriorate the fluid much faster. You can tell when your giving more gas and the rpm/s go up higher how the shifting of the transmission feels a little stiffer/rougher. the transmission can handle this, but wasn't necessarily designed to do that every time you drive it. Hence why it would wear/break faster- just an example
Signs to lookout for to notice an issue before it gets to bad are rougher shifting/ low fluid level or burnt looking fluid. The fluid should have a red/pink color to it. Also unusual noises while shifting are a good indication. Any type of irregular vibration in the vehicle could potentially lead to transmission issue.
Finally watch the warning light on your instrument cluster. the computer of the vehicle is very sophisticated and can tell you when something is going wrong. typically for a transmission issue the check engine light will illuminate or the D indicator will start blinking.
Edited by 1smartcarguy on 3/17/2010 at 3:55 AM EST