I am Dr. Arun and will be helping you today.
I am sorry about your wife's significant pain. But concerning is her disorientation about the time, place and person. The most likely reason may be the medicines she must be taking. Narcotic analgesics can cause disorientation. So you need to get her doses modified. Surgery in her age group may not be helpful, so opting out of that is not wrong. Following should be integrated in her management;
1) Physical therapy and occupational therapy, plays an important role in functional restoration. The goal is to increase strength and flexibility gradually.
2) Recreational therapy; take part in pleasurable activities that help to decrease pain.
3) Vocational therapy; provide work capacities and targeted work hardening.
4) Continuous epidural infusion
5) Spinal cord stimulator
6) Baclofen pump; Intrathecal infusion (Intrathecal bupivacaine infusion or Morphine pump are the other alternatives)
8) Relaxation techniques; associated with the above treatment.
9) Biofeedback training
You need to consult following specialists (if not yet done);
a) Pain management physician
b) MD in physical medicine and rehabilitation.
Lastly coming back to disorientation again; if this lasts for more than 5 minutes or more or is recurrent; she needs to get an MRI of brain. This may be TIA (transient ischemic attacks). This is precursor of stroke, so you may consider going to emergency room.
Please feel free for your follow up questions.
I would be happy to assist you further, if you need any more information.
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