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Ask Dr Ted Manos Your Own Question
Dr Ted Manos
Dr Ted Manos, Doctor (MD)
Category: Health
Satisfied Customers: 348
Experience:  Self employed 40 years experience Ob-Gyn
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My boyfriend of 3 and a half years broke up with me today.

Customer Question

Hi my boyfriend of 3 and a half years broke up with me today. He said he had been planning to propose this summer but because of the stressed of work and school and life he feels numb. He had a mental breakdown last night and he said lately he has been unsure of his feelings for me. He said he is leaving to work thing out on his own and that we'd see what the future holds. I have no idea what to do I'm devastated.
Submitted: 7 months ago.
Category: Health
Expert:  Dr Ted Manos replied 7 months ago.
Hello, I'm Dr Manos, M.D.
Expert:  Dr Ted Manos replied 7 months ago.
I read of your situation and I can give you some support.
Expert:  Dr Ted Manos replied 7 months ago.
First, how old are the two of you? Was this change of heart from out of the blue?
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
I'm 23, it seemed to be out of the blue
Expert:  Dr Ted Manos replied 7 months ago.
Well first you are going to hurt because tomorrow is unpredictable. The main advice is to not make what's happened mean anything but he's not sure and he's is trying to figure things out. You can choose to give him space and be patient. The four factors that can get you through this. Four words. 1. Love. 2. Joy. 3. Peace. 4. Patience
These things you have to create in your mind by using words that lead to them. Your boy friend has to find the way to create the same four ways of being. Support him and like I said be patient.
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Do you think he will try to reach out or is it really over
Expert:  Dr Ted Manos replied 7 months ago.
You just did what I said don't do. Is it really over means you are magically thinking it's over. You also want me to agree it's over. I don't and you don't know that it's over. Is he willing to choose you to be with him in an exclusive life together. Is he willing to choose you and not dishonor his commitment to you. Don't choose because of some one or two facts about him or him about you. Just say I choose you because you looked at everything and you selected him. I chose to go to medical school and be a doctor because I chose to go to medical school to be a doctor. It's that simple.
Expert:  Dr Ted Manos replied 7 months ago.
This Dr Manos again. I hope I've helped you see what's possible for you. I read your original text and your boyfriend didn't have a "mental breakdown" like you described. He is asking for a break. We sometimes have to step back and let others figure things out. Hopefully, you have someone to support you through this problem and give you good advice. I'm not in a position to advise you as this needs people you know and trust. You might consider talking to someone that specializes in relationships.
Expert:  Dr Ted Manos replied 7 months ago.
Dr Manos again. Has he worked things out? Is there hope?
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
Sunday we agreed to meet once a week for lunch if we both get the help we need. I said I'd reach out about a time and place this week but idk what a good day to text him is. He said this Friday afternoon works but I would like to pick a time at least so I can plan my schedule this week I'm scared of coming off as needy though and getting rejected if I text him too soon. I've already started getting help
Expert:  Dr Ted Manos replied 7 months ago.
At least you both are in action. Don't worry about what he may think about your responses and just trust yourself and him. Like I said before, watch out for putting too much meaning in what happens each day. It is what it is and doesn't man more than that. Good luck.