What you have described here today is consistent with depersonlization disorder. This could be your main diagnosis OR it could be part of a related psychiatric disorder such as schizophrenia for example. It is a dissociative disorder type of problem. It itself does not mean that you have schizophrenia but this could be part of a symptom complex...
You need to consult a psychiatrist...
You have been able here today to explain what you have experienced and you will be able to do the same for a psychiatrist in person..
I understand that you can not necessarily realistically and accurately portray all aspects of how you felt of yourself in the past
That is part of the very nature of this disorder.. that is understood..
I think that you will most likely find IMPROVEMENT with excellent psychiatric help but I can in no way promise you that you will be returned to the very natural and comfortable sense of self and your prior sense of knowledge and skills that you have enjoyed in the past...
I would say that you should be able to see improvement in this sense >> so YES to that >> CURE ?? I would wish that for you but I doubt that your treatment can be predicted to be of that 100 percent success.. I feel that extent of improvement would be unrealistic to put out there for you to expect ...
I strongly urge you to see a psychiatrist as the next step however. It will be helpful for you! This is a functional psychiatric nature of problem and I would expect that you may be helped.
It may help you to write down some of your concerns and symptoms that you have noticed prior to your appointment.
A neurology assessment may also be a part of your evaluation...(I would say that an EEG should be included as part of your assessment for example..)
I hope that this is helpful for you!
Let me know if you have other questions or concerns or points of discussion.
Anthony Bray MD