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What is your age?
Do you have stiffness in joints?
History of Diabetes,etc?
Are you taking any medicines?
Any blood work,X-ray or other investigations so far?
Thanks.Waiting for your reply.
I understand your concern.
Sorry to hear about your husband.
Your numbness in both arms and hands are caused due to Neuropathy and osteoarthritic degenerative changes in cervical spine and Diabetes are aggravating factors.
Your acute swelling can be associated with inflammation in muscles/tendons.
You should apply diclofenac sodium topical ointment on it.
Also take OTC Naproxen.
You should soak your hands in warm water for 5-10 minutes twice a day.
Also consult an Orthopedist for a clinical exam.
Hope this helps.