No, certainly not normal, and certainly, it seems, not optimal for you.
This is often seen with long-married couples, but there seems to be an undercurrent of anger here, at least on your part
and this is not healthy for a relationship
as resentment will grow, and it seems as if you have a decent amount of this already
I can only say that it seems to me that you may want to suggest couples counseling to your boyfriend
If he agrees, great, you guys might make a breakthrough regarding communication and that would be the best outcome
It is quite possible that he will refuse, and then YOU must decide if this relationship is worth keeping
But I suspect you already knew this
Relationships are hard, marriage is harder, and you need two willing participants in order to overcome the inevitable conflicts which will arise.
So, time to do some work, time to try to get in with a counselor and see if you can make a breakthrough
If not, time to take a hard look at this relationship, and a hard look at what you desire from a relationship, and from life.
Your close friends are invaluable here, as they may really want to tell you how they feel about this, but may be scared to do so for fear of offending you.
Close friends will likely validate your concerns, which will give you confidence to make the hard choices going foreward.
I hope you can get this worked out, if not, I hope you can move on and get back to the person you wish to be.
I do not see you in the chat. I am going to switch to the Q and A format to facilitate this discussion. If your question has been adequately answered I do so appreciate positive feedback. If you have further questions or desire clarification simply type your response in the box below and click ‘reply’ and I will be back with you as soon as I can.
Should you need my assistance in the future simply start your question with ‘for 911doc only’.